What Do Women Think of Men Driving Priuses?

Quote from Daniel:
Confidence is probably a good thing. But in the eternal search for companionship, it's about a lot more than just confidence. Good looks and a charismatic personality count for a lot more than confidence.[/quote]

Not for all women. For me, intelligence weighs in much more than looks. Looks don't always last and certainly don't matter to me one bit if they are the shell around a shallow jerk. It's good to be with someone with whom you can relate and have good conversation - a gentleman who knows how to treat and love you. The search for companionship is a total pain in the butt, though. I dated for several years before I found my current boyfriend. There are a lot of clueless goonbags out there...lots of shallow chicks who only date guys for their cars or status or to get jewelry, I suppose.

 

Thought I'd chime in on this one. I would certainly agree that one's choice of vehicle ought not play too significant a role in one's romantic life or choices. I've driven a lot of cars over the course of my lifetime, some "cool" ones and some that were very much "not too cool" as well, and I cannot recall a time when I specifically got a date, or failed in such an endeavor, simply because of the car I was driving. I think that, at least once one is beyond about the age of 18, it becomes less of a factor. Having said that, however, I do think that a person's choice of vehicle might say something about him/her.....not always, certainly, but often. It isn't generally "make or break", but may contain some clues about a person. I'm in my 50s and have been single for more than a decade. During that time I've dated a fair bit and have noted the types of vehicles that women in my age-range tend to drive.

People who have their sh*t together tend to drive clean, nicer and relatively newish vehicles. One woman drove a trashed out beater pickup, hadn't changed the oil in years, and the interior was pretty filthy.....and it turned out that her life was reflected in her truck, disorderly, chaotic, poorly cared for. I did once meet a woman who drove a Hummer. I did not know what to think. I soon found out, and tipped my proverbial hat, bid her adieu, and turned and quietly walked away.

So yeah, a person's choice of car/vehicle does say something about them.....although not always in a perfectly reflective sense.

 

A person's choice about anything says something about him. We base our opinions on dozens of little clues. It's like the words of a song or poem: sometimes they have deep meaning, sometimes they mean nothing, and it's hard to tell the difference. Take Paul Simon's Mother and Child Reunion, where the words say: "...on this strange and mournful day, the mother and child reunion is only a moment away." It sounds deep, sad, and significant. Those words came to Paul when he was sitting in a Chinese restaurant and was about to eat an egg and chicken dish. It occurred to him that the mother and child reunion was only a moment away - in his stomach.

Tom

 

LOL, this thread is a strange one -- even by PC standards...

I would have to agree with a previous poster that no relationship would probably be better than an un-meaningful one. What might be worse is the person looking for an un-meaningful relationship with a person expecting more.

 

I agree. My boyfriend isn't going to win any beauty contests but I love him to pieces because he's smart, funny, and gets me. And he thinks that I look pretty darn hot in my new red Prius! He drives an older, sensible car (a 1997 Camry) which does reflect his personality; neat, steady and dependable. I think some guys definitely do compensate with their cars...I've had some tell me they do. I can't stand the young guys in their tricked out cars who think they are the coolest thing since sliced bread.

 

Oh you mean like Mewdonna?


She is possessive and has an attitude...just like

 

I believe I am intelligent, and my friends agree. I believe I am sensitive, and my friends agree. My friends all say I have something very good to offer the right woman. But I am not attractive, and when meeting a woman I am shy and verbally clumsy. My lifetime batting average is zero.

I've tried ALL the on-line dating services, I've tried speed-dating, and I've tried a couple of different brick-and-mortar dating companies, as well as newspaper ads. I meet women in church and in the local hiking club (before I started spending the entire hiking season out of town) and on my many trips, but none of them has the slightest interest in me. (Some say, let's keep in touch, but they never do. This applies in general to the people I meet on trips, and I suspect that it's human nature to want to keep in touch with the people you meet on an enjoyable trip, and human nature to lose interest a month later.)

A car may be a factor in a relationship, but I'm sure it's a minor factor. Still, I'd buy a Tesla Roadster if they were available without a year and a half wait. But I'd buy it more because I want an EV than out of any hope it would get me a girlfriend.

I'd like a meaningful relationship. But yes, I'd take a shallow relationship rather than remain alone and lonely.

 

Hey Daniel, I saw your photo in the other thread. You are wrong about this. You are not hideous. I'm not really interested in guys, but I don't think you would be repulsive to women.

Be comfortable in your own skin first, then others will become attracted to your personality.

I'm not all that attractive either, but I found the woman who is attracted to me. You only need to find one.

 

I agree - not unattractive - why would you even think that? Maybe your feeling that you are makes you feel uncomfortable. It is all downhill from there. Believe me, I know. People have always told me I'm pretty, but I've never believed it. I have always been awkward and shy around men, too, and I feel that is why I had trouble with the whole dating thing. I hated it! I did the online dating thing and that didn't work out for me, either (although I have lots of crazy stories to tell). I actually met my man at a birthday celebration in a restaurant - he was a friend of a friend. It boiled down to chance for me, I suppose.

I remember feeling down about it many times, like you appear to be now, Daniel. I also know that there is little I or anyone could say to change those feelings. I really enjoyed a lot of my single life and being independent, but sometimes I just wanted so much to have that companion, even a short-term fix or just a freakin' movie. It can be very frustrating trying to find that companion, especially when you are shy. I'm not normally shy around people (I can talk to anyone), but it's a totally different story when it comes to men. My friends used to tell me that I didn't look approachable when we went out dancing or wherever. I suspect they were right - I was uncomfortable and nervous, often, and a bar is not really my place to shine, you know? I'm more of a one-on-one person and the way people act in bars always makes me uncomfortable. I can dance like nobody's business, though - I love music and dancing is another way to enjoy it. That's probably another reason why I never got picked up in bars - I was on the dance floor.

At the time I met my boyfriend, I had given up. I had not dated anyone for over a year. I have to say, it was a very good year, in spite of being alone, because I had given up the frustration of looking and trying to force myself to date. Ugh. I don't miss dating. There are waaaay more losers than there are good guys, like you, I suspect. I'm sure the same could be said for the ladies. Your companion is out there - you just haven't stumbled upon her yet. It's so hard when you're shy. Don't be shy because you think you're ugly, though. You are definitely not.

 

Duplicate - sorry. The site is so slow that I give up and try again sometimes and it double-posts...

 

Try Same car, different girl. Or get a stick-on label for the back window that says (Name of local dealer here) Ferrari courtesy car.

 

Not ugly. Not hideous. Just not attractive. Women have told me I'm attractive before, but never a woman who I might ask out. Married women occasionally say, "You're attractive. Some woman would go out with you." My mother, my aunt, and a couple of my female cousins have told me I'm attractive. One married woman once told me I was "cute." The last time I had a date was about 12 years ago, with a woman who turned out to have two lovers, both (according to mutual female friends) hideously ugly. She'd have added me to her collection if I had been willing to "share." Prior to that I had two dates with a woman in around 1989, who went out with me, after first refusing several times, only because she admired my principled acts in the peace movement, but who broke it off after two dates.

But I've lost track of my almost dates. The women who say yes when I ask them out and then phone, and from the safety of the telephone wire say that something came up, and who find reasons to decline any further invitations. Or who just say they've changed their mind. Several times a year a woman will agree to go out with me, and then cancel, and decline to set a new date. When that happens enough times, I don't care how optimistic you started out, you will become convinced (as I have) that there's something wrong with you.

 

Its easy to convince yourself of a lot of things, but that does not make it true. There could be something wrong with the women you are meeting or you just have a different expectation than they do.

My mother used to say "There is a Jenny for every Jackass." I think that is true. So you haven't found the right Jenny yet. But try to enjoy yourself until you do. *
















* I feel compelled to disclose that you are getting this relationship advice from an engineer, which means that it is highly suspect and probably not at all reliable.

 

What were you doing being up at 1:45 am on a Sunday morning? Oh wait, I forgot... it was the weekend...

(I had to work Sunday morning...so I drove 40 minutes into work [took the long way down and avoided I-95] and managed to push the mpg up .2 of a mile... )

 

At the risk of sounding hostile, this is the sort of claptrap that would probably issue from someone who would say there's no point in obeying traffic laws because god has already ordained our fate and nothing we can do (like stopping for a red light) will make any difference.

Plenty of people never find a companion.

There's another saying: "'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I shall modify this for all of us unattractive, lonely people: A shallow love is better than no love at all.

 

I'm not trying to foster hostility, but trying to give you a different viewpoint. You have posted that you are not attractive to women, my view is that you haven't met the right woman (the one that is attracted to you) or you possibly have but haven't recognized her.

I will also add that if you believe that you aren't attractive, it can become self-fulfilling and vice-versa. It isn't (pre) ordained - you do have an influence on this.

 

Anyone see Borat when he is shopping for an H2?

 

Ok... I have to put in my 2¢ here....

My last car was a 1998 Toyota Camry with 306,000 miles, if any woman didn't like me for the car or the excessive mileage then that's their problem... (I've gone celibate since owning the Camry and haven't dated anyone since then...10 years and counting...)

On the other hand with the Prius, I haven't had any women come up and say I like what your driving, or how is it on the gas mileage, etc. I guess it's my introverted nature that makes me less secure in meeting women at bars, nightclubs, etc. Regardless of what the women think about me driving the car, I'll keep driving it. I think I can make converts out of some of my co-workers and some friends this year.

 

There's no such thing as shallow love. Shallow companionship, perhaps, but not love. Good days and bad days. You have them both. I've heard the same things from friends and family my whole life about all of the good things I bring to the table. They were right. I thought there was something wrong with me because I let all the rejection, perceived or otherwise, define me. Hell, I still do sometimes. To this day, when I go out with my girlfriends, it is still the same - men come up to them, hit on them, but I'm the invisible woman. I can't explain it. The only conclusion I've come to after years and years of that is this: when it comes to interacting with men, it ain't gonna happen in a bar for me. I'm not the barbiest of chicks, but I am not ugly or any of the other things I always told myself on my darkest days of singledom, either. Somewhere in between, uniquely me.

Sometimes it just doesn't make sense. There are so many factors - timing, location, etc. As I said earlier, I didn't find someone because I finally found peace being alone. "Some people never find a companion." I was okay with that. It was pure luck that I met someone. Well, luck, of course, is hit or miss, hardly reliable. You can't depend on it or anything else, for that matter. You've got you, though.

You are who you are. There's plenty wrong with you. And plenty right. No one is out there walking around with some sort of probe that can pick it all out and know all the amazing parts of you and/or the bad in such a short moment in time, like some f*cking date. They certainly don't have that microscope you put yourself under (maybe you don't do that, but I always have). It's hard to be whatever it is that woman standing in front of you at a given moment in time wants on the spot. Hell, you don't know what she wants you to be, what she wants you to say, and may not even know herself. You've got to just get comfortable with you, good and bad, and present it honestly to the world. Not only is it the only chance a good companion will present, it's the only way you'll find peace.

I don't know you, other than from your posts, but I'm stunned that someone like you could feel that those things that are "wrong" with you are all that count. It's enlightening to me. I guess I thought women owned this stuff, probably because I am one. In your pictures, I see an adventurous, attractive man. Your posts are insightful and intelligent. You are obviously warm and kind. It's not you, Daniel. It's them. It's not all their fault, I'm sure. They've got their own issues and not enough time to see you, especially if you aren't quite good at presenting it. Just relax and enjoy all the wonderful things that you are, companion or not. Go to places you enjoy, where you have some feeling of belonging. One day, she'll show - the temporary one or the long-term one. If not, you can say you were content. There are millions of people all paired up who don't have contentment.

It probably doesn't matter much, but I think you are cool as all hell!

 

One other thing, Daniel, I wouldn't even pretend to be imparting any great wisdom to someone as bright as you are. I'm sure you already know most of what I typed. I just related to some of the things you expressed earlier in this thread. Hope it is comforting or at least amusing in some way.