We haven't had a good cat thread in awhile.

That's the slow method. Ours just kneads the full bladder in the wee hours of the morning.

 

Gosh. In 15 years my cat never did anything worse than pounce on me in my sleep, which was startling and annoying, but not life-threatening. I guess it pays to be named Daniel. Cats never kill people named Daniel. (See the Book of Daniel in the Old Testament.)

 

Ah, that explains why I have to pee like a racehorse at 4:57am each and every single morning

My two boys take turns working me over until I'm too weak to fight back

 

Ours likes to make an early morning assault on our bedroom, where she rushes in, sharpens her non-existent claws on my wife's side of the bed, makes a "pprrrdddpppp" noise, and races back out of the room. Repeat as necessary.

Tom

 

You can train your cat to wake you up in the morning by always feeding her as soon as you get up. I never bothered to train my cat to wake me up. Not sure why. I never fed him until I had been up for an hour or so. As a result, he did not associate my getting out of bed with breakfast, and did not wake me up as a rule.

The pouncing was when I took a nap downstairs on the sofa. I had a roll-away bed for guests, which was folded up against the wall behind the sofa, and since it was the highest comfortable sleeping spot, and near the sofa, my cat would sleep there when I napped on the sofa. When he woke up, he would jump down, using my stomach to cushion his landing.

 

Siamese?

 

My cat Trixter did something similar. At night, when I went to bed, I had to lie on my back with the one correct blanket on so she could jump on my belly. If I were lying on my side (or, gods forbid, had the wrong blanket on), she'd warn me with a "meow!" If I didn't fix it quickly, I'd get a "MEOW!" - she never needed a third.

 

Or Turkish Angora....clogged my desktop with white fur. Guarded the bedroom like a bulldog with an under the breath Halloween howl.

Wonderful cat, but rehomed Mewdonna because I could not choose between her and the other cats forever. She was named that on purpose: thin, athletic, pale, and hearing the F-word too much.

 

Our cats have only ever been fed dry food, and they have it all of the time, so we avoid the morning feeding problem. My grandmother used to have a Siamese that would pull her hair in the morning until she got up and fed it.

Tom

 

Whatever works!

 

Another story about Trixter that I swear is true:

I used to wake up at 7:00 am, and she would always climb on my belly at 6:59 like clockwork (literally). So Friday night I told her tomorrow is Saturday and she needn't climb on my belly in the morning - and she didn't!

 

Wow, that is a very disturbing photo.

Tom