SCIENTISTS PROVE THAT LIFE ON EARTH WAS CREATED BY A FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by daniel, Jun 15, 2006.

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  1. jared2

    jared2 New Member

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    MarinJohn likes spagetti! I do too!
    As for meatballs - whoop tee do!
    FSM is my kind 'o guy!
    No more asking why, why why?
    No more ifs and no more buts
    No more doubts; my mind is shut
    FSM is all I need
    FSM is one great creed
    Praise to the monster
    And Daniel
    All non-believers can go to hell.
     
    #21 jared2, Jun 16, 2006
  2. windstrings

    windstrings Certified Prius Breeder

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Jun 16 2006, 08:54 AM) [snapback]272233[/snapback]</div>

    Oh good... I was starting to think I shouldn't taste your spagetti!
     
    #22 windstrings, Jun 16, 2006
  3. efusco

    efusco Moderator Emeritus
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    "Spagetti Monster spoke all these words, saying: I am the Spagetti Monster your God,who brought you out of Italy, from the place of culinary slavery.

    1)Do not have any other foods before Me.

    2)Do not represent [such] foods by any plastic replicas or picture of anything in the kitchen, in the trash below, or in the fridge.

    3)Do not consume [such foods] or taste them. I am Spagetti Monster your Lord, a Food who demands exclusive worship.

    4)Where Fast foods are concerned, I keep in mind the sin of the fathers for [their] descendants, to the third and fourth [generation]. But for those who love Me and keep My commandments, I show love for thousands [of generations].

    5)Do not take the name of Spagetti Monster your Lord in vain.     Spagetti Monster will not allow the one who takes His name in vain to go unpunished by means of intestinal distress.

    6)Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. You can eat other foods during the six weekdays and do all your tasks. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to     Spagetti Monster your Lord. Do not do anything that constitutes work. [This includes] you, your son, your daughter, your slave, your maid, your animal, and the foreigner in your gates. It was during the six weekdays that Spagetti Monster made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he ate on the seventh day. God therefore blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
    7) Honor your pasta and sauce. You will then live long on the land that God your Lord is giving you.

    8)Do not commit flattus. Do not commit borborigmy.

    9)Do not eat French food.

    10)Do not testify as a false recepies against your neighbor. Do not be throw meatballs at your neighbor's house. Do not eat the spagetti of your neighbor's wife, his slave, his maid, his ox, his donkey, or anything else that is your neighbor's."

    RAmen
     
    #23 efusco, Jun 16, 2006
  4. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    Please note that there is no hell. But unbelievers will have the less-desirable jobs in heaven.

    Also please note, as posted elsewhere, there are no commandments. Only the eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts, posted elsewhere.

    Also please note that I am not a prophet. Bobby is the prophet. I'm just bringing the Noodly Good News to Prius Chat.

    And Windstrings: I presume you're refering to the Bible as an "instruction manual," but galaxee was asking for a technical manual, even if she didn't phrase it that way. Note that as a chemist she is particularly interested in how the chemistry works, and the people who wrpte the Bible didn't even know there are such things as molecules. Neither your god nor mine gave us a technical manual. The difference is that mine is a flippant and whimsical god with a sense of humor who likes us, but does not love us, and so has no special reason to treat us any differently than any of his other creatures.

    If you persist in your stubbornness, you may end up being denied access to the fast lanes at the beer volcano, and have to use the long lanes. But the worst of that is that if you and I are in different lines for beer, we may not have much opportunity for debating the finer points of theology in the afterlife.

    RAmen.
     
    #24 daniel, Jun 16, 2006
  5. JackDodge

    JackDodge Gold Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Jun 16 2006, 12:13 PM) [snapback]272249[/snapback]</div>
    Actually, the nonbelievers go to a Burger King in Fresno B)
     
    #25 JackDodge, Jun 16, 2006
  6. AnOldHouse

    AnOldHouse Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(efusco @ Jun 16 2006, 01:21 PM) [snapback]272285[/snapback]</div>
    And that would be on Wednesdays, right?
     
    #26 AnOldHouse, Jun 16, 2006
  7. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(AnOldHouse @ Jun 16 2006, 12:29 PM) [snapback]272353[/snapback]</div>
    I think the FSM tome Practice Makes Good Enough states you can choose your own Sabbath. You might like Wed., I might prefer Sat. If we all choose randomly, that means on any given day only 1/7 of the population will be "off". And that means it won't be so crowded at the beach. It's all good.
     
    #27 ghostofjk, Jun 16, 2006
  8. Mirza

    Mirza New Member

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    Is the noodly one edible?
     
    #28 Mirza, Jun 16, 2006
  9. ghostofjk

    ghostofjk New Member

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    Technically he is, but he's been around for a long time, and he's likely tough and stringy. (Even so, he doesn't spend much time in Third World countries.) His noodly appendages probably have a skin-like quality, from all that flying around. Of course, he can't take frequent hot showers or baths, or he'd turn to, well, to paste. :eek:

    I've heard that he has several body doubles, as he believes strongly in the personal touch, and never uses videoconferencing. Perhaps one of the doubles is more edible than His Noodliness.
     
    #29 ghostofjk, Jun 17, 2006
  10. rufaro

    rufaro WeePoo, Gen II

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(jared2 @ Jun 16 2006, 08:33 AM) [snapback]272218[/snapback]</div>
    [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
    #30 rufaro, Jun 17, 2006
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