Online dating

OK I'm done!

 

First of all....
I never said "full figured" i said "curvy".
And, I never once admitted to knowing the first thing about kinky sex.

Now that we have cleared that up.

I suggest you go with: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" And when you use it, please have your trusty wingman record it for us on his phone and upload it here so we can watch the master in action!

:focus:


I've tried to online dating thing. Matter of fact, I have a profile up now, although I'm that weird chick who really isn't interested in meeting anyone, just making friends, chatting on forums, that sort of thing.

When my divorce first went through, I tried it though... and really thought it had potential. That was before I had all the experiences I did. I wrote this after about a year:

As I've entered the world of the single and the dating, I find that I have much to learn. It is always a goal of mine to find what there is for me to learn from each person I meet, so here are a few of the fun insights I've gained so far:

If a man posts pictures of himself in a towel in front of a bathroom mirror, he is looking for sex. If he uses a red light, kinky sex.

porn sites in fav lists on a man's computer can apparently just "happen" when someone else sends him a site that he did not know was sex and that he never looked at again.

Skiing is not something you learn in one or two trips. Falling while Skiing hurts. A lot.

Just because my kids like a guy doesn't mean he's a good guy, it just means he buys my kids pizza and my kids like anyone who brings them pizza.

ditto for the dog.

Men who bike commute are hot.

If a man actually likes Hello Kitty, he is either lying or gay.

Unless he "gets" that it's not hello KITTY it's HELLO Kitty.

physical health does not = spiritual, emotional or mental health.

If the x girlfriend is still showing up five months later... He IS still talking to her.

It's really really neat when a man fixes your plate and cuts up your food. (Learned from Asian man) Only neat in an Asian restarurant though, would just be plain weird in Applebee's.

Asian men don't look you in the eye when they are telling you important stuff.

I LOVE sushi.

Profession is not a good indicator of character.

Wine tasting is fun... but yes you can get tipsy on little tiny sips of wine.

Europeans are very open about sexuality and are big on eye contact.

Salesmen never get off work.

I have a good eye for billiards.

Some men don't like to lose at billiards.

I CAN hit a golf ball in a straight line!

Giggling is socially unacceptable at a driving range.

Everyone has a different definition of what "good dancing" is.

Dating in your thirties is much different than dating in your twenties. The men have money and expectations. (pfft.)

"I'll tell you later" on education level is code for I didn't finish high school.

Doing a key word search for martial arts will bring up three people.

92% of men love walks on the beach.

Dutch men really do go "Dutch"

There is such a thing as "shifty eyes" and ironically, it was a car salesman who had them.

The magic eight ball will be right more than 70% of the time. (spooky)

62% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Just because it says "Blue's club", doesn't mean they will actually play blues music. Or...

Steely Dan is blues?

Tall is an attitude.(or altitude as the case may be)

The three characteristics that I look for, the right blend of intelligence, integrity, and confidence, is very very hard to find.

 

1. How about us bike racers?
2/3. You date some odd asian dudes
4. (Summarizing other members) Finding hot women who like kinky sex is hard.

 

See Octavia's comment:

It gets kinkier as you get older.

 

Wait, I thought this was about dating...

 

Dating doesn't preclude one from loving themselves. Neither does marriage. In fact I think more self loving goes on during marriage than dating. lol

 

It sounds like there are more than one or two members here willing to teach . . . Shields up!

 

bike buns + environmentally aware + competitive...

Double yum!!

 

...great with kids, good cook, wicked sense of humour...call me.

 

Yes, I know that from personal experience

Which is why I completely avoid walking skeletons, which for some reason is trendy these days with younger women.

Even when I was younger, I preferred Big Girls. Any guy who passes up a big girl is a fool

I'd go along with that, but we may have to start up a new opt-in private forum, along the lines of Fred's House of Politics

I'd be pleased to moderate such a forum, if need be

In my small circle of friends with "benefits," they are all divorced. I think it's important to let yourself decompress first, before jumping back into the scene

All depends on what you're looking for, a lifelong soulmate, or someone for fun? Given the stats for marriage, I hate to pop any bubbles - but the odds of finding such a person are slim at best

BTW: I also have female friends with OUT "benefits." Believe it or not, a mature guy has enough self-control to actually be chummy with a female, without trying to hop into bed with her

Really

Well, some of us men do. Most men are really not mature enough to even deal with that *concept* let alone putting it into practice

Our last trip out to Banff, we didn't even rent skis. Or even leave the Chalet for that matter. Sometimes a change of scenery is exciting too!

Oh-oh, be very careful here. There are a lot of perverts out there who would use an "inside" like Mommy to get access to her kids. In my book, the kids should be STRICTLY "off limits"

True enough. Basically, I'm a self-absorbed bastard ... on a good day, that is

Apparently, it is these days. I also don't understand that

After the holidays. I'm rather busy ...

 

What every happened to just healthy "average" being A-OK?

Nice try but I'm wise to you buster. You detailed your "technique" already.
"If you ignore them they will come....."

 

You're playing... the technique appears to be valid...

 

It's even better to be first, second, third, fourth and fifth, then you can finish last. :flame:

And I'm still fully clothed. Typical male. :doh:

Not really.





Oopsie. Have I said too much?

 

That's A-OK too. My scale tends to range from "healthy average" to "big girl." Just try to avoid the walking skeletons, which turns me off

Well, it works for me. More women have told me that they are turned off by a pushy, aggressive guy, than a guy who is very nonchalant about it

Anyway, IMHO I feel its the job of the woman to seek out a potential mate. Women usually have better senses, they should be able to pick and chose at will

And I'll just sit back, relaxed, and wait for the inevitable opening line ...

I concur

We can't help it. Mother Nature is a cruel, heartless witch. It's the way we're hardwired

Though some of us are better at self-control than others

No, not at all. I really do think we need to have a new opt-in private forum. Seems that we would have enough potential members op-in, that's for sure

 

I think the problem is that in America "average" is overweight.

I'm sure I'll be hated for this but I find overweight to be unattractive. Slightly chubby = I can't even look at the girl.

 

Fixed that for you.

 

Oh Bunny, no wonder some of you guys aren't getting laid.

You're WAY too picky!!

 

<-- just had couch sex