And if you lived in a larger city with an active gay population, you'd likely be offered that position.
Actually, as someone with a lot of experience, I can say that the actual rejection is worse. Fear of rejection is like when they're hauling a grand piano up the side of a building on pulleys to a window, and you have to walk under it to get by. Rejection is like when that piano slips and falls on you.
Rejection is never nice but I've found that having good friends backing you up tends to help a lot with the overall let down, especially those who are trying the dating game as well. I got the "I think you are amazing! But I just don't see us being anything beyond friends" comment the other day. Yeah it kinda stings a bit but ohh well. You move on to the next and suck it up. I've found that my ex girlfriends or close to girlfriends (ones you didn't date but almost did) tend to be a life-rope in situations like this. They are always there to help pick you back up and make you feel good again. This may be just my unique situation but those girls have helped to shape my life and still do in so many ways. I rarely have bad breakups and I remain friends with many of the girls I've dated and I am always grateful to be a part of their lives. I guess I'm just saying that dating and rejection is not always easy but sometimes those rejections or failed relationships can be something wonderful in and of themselves. It all depends on how you handle the situation afterward. It's just another perspective....
+1 Often over time we drift apart but not always. My best friend is a man I dated initially. He's amazing. We have issues that make a long term partnership undoable but that doesn't make him any less amazing. One of my biggest hurts was a man I dated that I really cared for. We were friends, it just didn't go romantic you know... but then he did meet a woman and fall in love and stopped being my friend. That hurt a lot. I am happy for him don't get me wrong and I'm not angry, just hurt. I get that staying friends with a girl you dated once can be a challenge for a new relationship and some just can't do that, I know if the girl was really pretty I might have a hard time depending on his energy. I think that's why I don't do well with dating. The "all or none" thing really bums me out because frankly, I date pretty neat people and the pressure for it to be "the one" or I don't get to have them in my life at all sucks. P.S Sorry to hear about your date F8L. :hug:
Sorry to hear your bad news. She doesn't know what she's missing. You're right, that doesn't make much sense. We should all be good friends, and share the benefits.
Yeah, it would be nice to have friends like that. Last woman I "dated" would have been around a dozen years ago. I broke it off because I couldn't handle her mental illness. She was severely bipolar. Shortly after that we got together as friends. That was when she told me that all the time we were "dating" she was screwing her lover every night. She was actually a good friend, and very supportive, when she was not either extremely manic, which was most of the time, or totally depressed, which usually landed her in the mental hospital for a round of electroshock therapy. Yes, they still do that. Eventually, though, she stopped seeing me. You have to have some girlfriends to begin with before you can have any ex-girlfriends. I have not had a date since moving to Spokane. I did have a couple of blind dates in Fargo. Nothing could possibly have come of either. Both completely inappropriate. One, I'm sure the guy who arranged it was playing a practical joke on both of us.
I had that happen. Well, with a woman, not another man, but you get my drift That has to be a joke, right? She tells you that while you two were dating she was banging her lover, but she was "actually a good friend?!" I had barely become intimate with one woman, a colleague took me aside and told me she was banging another guy, and would most likely just use me. I didn't believe it, he told me to drive to a certain apartment building and look for her car in the Visitor parking. Told me what apartment to knock at. Sure enough, her car was there. Sure enough, when I knocked on the door, this weird little scrawny guy opens it. and sitting on the couch there she is So, I resisted my urge to put the guy through the wall, just turned around and walked away. She had the balls to call me that night, said she had made a horrible mistake. Whatever, click.
Ana was, as I said, extremely mentally ill. I didn't know about the lovers during the week we were "dating," but I broke it off because of her manic behavior. A month later she asked me to help her with her English and I agreed. That was when we became friends. That was when she told me about her lovers, and admitted that she would never settle for just one man. There was nothing romantic between us. She had lied to me while we were dating, but now that that was over, it was no business of mine how many guys she slept with, and yes, during that year or maybe year and a half, she was a very good friend, one of the best I've ever had. She was very, very sick, but once we were no longer "dating" she treated me better than any friend I've had before or since.
My brother... who has been married 5 times (his last wife passed away last year from illness)... says that now he only dates gals that exercise using a pole... he meets em online first he says... not that I believe him... Is that really dating...
It almost sorta worked out for Eliot Spitzer (I'm not posting pics this time since they got removed last time).
