Hear any good jokes lately?

"Gort, ".
Thank God I read this in time to prevent the destruction of the planet and had the chance to blurt out the Earth Saving Words!!!!!

 

I got a new car radio yesterday and it is terrific.




If I say "Rock" it plays rock and roll.

If I say "Rap" it plays rap.

If I say "Love" it plays love songs.



Three kids ran out in front of the car

and I said "F *#^ing kids!" :x














And it played Michael Jackson. :mrgreen:

 

LOL
I love that show so much :-D

 

Have you heard the one about the retired gynecologist who got bored and decided since he liked to fix cars as a kid he would try to get a part time job fixing cars. So he took some auto courses at the community college to get up to date. The final exam from the courses was the disassembly and assembly of a engine. The students all took the exam and the results were posted. The gynecologist went to look at the scores and he had 150% on the exam. He went to the teacher and asked how it was possible to get 150%? The teacher explained that the test was graded by a panel of expert auto technicians and the disassembly was worth 50 points and the assembly was worth 50 points and the gynecologist had done both perfectly!! The panel also gave him an additional 50 points because he did the whole thing through the tail pipe!

 

Re: Hear any good jokes lately?-Google Gulp

Google's strategy is not to make a big fuss when they release a new product or service. They generally rely on word of mouth--and it works. For instance, check out their latest, and somewhat controversial, offering.

http://www.google.com/googlegulp/index.html

Yes, it is April 1st...

 

Laughter truly helps us cope with sadness. When contemplating the recent loss of a great church leader, I was reminded of this story:

The pastor was leaving his congregation and moving on to another assignment. At a reception to wish him well, the pastor was able to have some moments with those he would leave behind. As one family said their goodbyes, their young pre-teen daughter was sobbing uncontrollably.

The pastor felt the need to console her, of course. "Don't worry," he offered, "maybe the next pastor will be even better!"

The girl cried all the harder, replying, "That's what they said last time!"

***

So, how about those Cardinals (not Louisville)?

 

OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast.

But did you know that:

660 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/ 666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 ^ (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast
6, uh... what was that number again?
- Number of the Blonde Beast
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666: - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute. Over 18 only please.
$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 - Walmart price of the Beast
$646.66 - Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell
National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Next-door neighbor of the Beast