Getting middle-aged. Should I buy a Volvo?

Ah. So it's soft most of the time, but when you want to do something exciting, it will suddenly go hard.

Said the actress to the bishop.

 

I found that with the XC60 I tested. The seats were absolutely fantastic. I had a couple of Saabs when I lived in Hong Kong and they had amazing seats too. The seats in the second one were so comfortable I just didn't want to get out, until the car suddenly burst into flames on a major road.

We didn't. I wish we had. The V60 plug-in diesel hybrid is pretty much my ideal car.

 

I looked at the C-class wagon. It was nice, but I'd be getting a lot less for the money than I would for a Volvo. And I didn't like the interior quite so much. The E-class would be nice, but there are very few E-class wagons on the market. MLs are cheap, but there's just something about them that I don't like. I can't put my finger on what it is.

BMWs have that terrible blind-spot problem we've discussed before. I think it's something to do with the A-pillar. It makes it absolutely impossible to see "No parking" signs or "Disabled parking" signs. There's also the windscreen-distortion problem which means that, when you're doing 80mph on the motorway, the car that's two feet in front of you looks like it's a safe distance ahead.

Honda don't sell any wagons here. I do like the Legend (it's an Acura Legend in America, I think), but given that Honda have sold four in the last five years (seriously), they're quite hard to come by used. And CR-Vs have a horrible ride on Sydney streets.

Thanks for the suggestions, though.

 

No, none at all.

Our paint fades quickly because the sun is so fierce. Similarly, the tops of steering wheels and the tops of dashboards tend to degrade. But that takes eight to ten years.

Mechanically, there are no problems. And we don't get problems with water damage. Mileages are generally pretty low: very few people do more than about 10,000 miles per year.

Hmmm..... More money than sense? I honestly think that's the main explanation.

 

It's about A$ 25,000, plus or minus.

So, at auction (where I'd pay a good 20%-30% less than I would from a dealer) that would get me a 2012 Superb or Passat, a 2011 XC90, a 2010 C-class, or a 2007-8 E-class.

I'd love one. But they don't sell them here yet, and when they do, they'll start at about A$ 100,000.

Yes. I hired a Superb a few years ago in Perth, and really liked it. Really the only downside is that the cup-holders won't take 600ml Diet Coke bottles. Other than that, though, it was really among the best cars I've ever driven. And I've got a Prius!

All other things being equal, I'd be between a Superb and a V/XC60, I think. But I do like the integrated child seats in the Volvos: it would save me a hell of a lot of time, effort and room.

 

Our new cars are wildly expensive: Lexus ISs start at about A$ 70,000, and GSs are well into the hundreds. The same goes for Mercs: the most basic C-class starts at about A$ 80,000. So even after they've taken a 50% depreciation hit over two years, they're still pretty dear.

I'd love an E-series wagon. I had three Mercs in HK, all fairly old - a 230CE, a CE300, and a CL600 - and they were lovely. And when I was a kid, my Dad had an old W123 200, which was fantastic. But even a 2008 E wagon, diesel, would cost almost A$ 40,000 (it would have been about A$ 140,000 new).

 

No. Also, I have been in several Subaru Foresters - even purple ones - but I remain not a lesbian.

Mind you, I bought a white Astra wagon for our nanny, and she totally is. But she was before I bought her the car.

 

Sometimes they're valid. There was a gay newspaper in San Francisco that ranked the Subaru Forester (the old shape) as the most-lesbian car on the market (followed, unsurprisingly, by the Prius).

And there was the whole Daihatsu Copen fiasco.



It is rare that I would defend Jeremy Clarkson.

But on Top Gear, he described the Daihatsu Copen as "gay". There was predictable outrage in The Guardian and elsewhere, and he was accused of homophobia and stuff. He pointed out that he wasn't using "gay" as a derogatory term, but that he was very specifically saying that this was a car that was aimed at the gay market. The outrage continued, to the complete mystification of all of my gay Top-Gear-watching friends.

Eventually, the head of one of the biggest gay-rights groups in Britain said that the Copen was clearly aimed at the gay market, and that Clarkson's comments were not homophobic, but entirely accurate. The gay-rights activist described the Copen as "the gayest car I've ever seen", and that rather put an end to the matter.

Also, if I do buy a Volvo, I fully intend to buy a trilby and open a slightly-seedy antique store, and drive at dead on the speed limit in the overtaking lane while smoking a pipe. Alternatively, if I get an XC60, I will become a yummy mummy, and start doing pilates while wearing lycra.

 

Oh, I completely agree. The Copen case was, I'm sure, specific to certain countries.

I had never heard of the US sock thing before. It's certainly not the case here, or in Britain.

 

I'm not sure that it's that simple, to be honest. In Britain and Australia at least, the Copen was seen very specifically as gay, not as effeminate, or as feminine.