Farewells and Goodnights

Rene' my heart goes out to you. Like Tony, I have met you and I am in awe of you.
I lost my dad a year and a half ago, it feels like much more and I know the funeral and my participation in that funeral were a very important part of my grieving process. I was fortunate to have been with dad when he drew his last breath, and I was fortunate to be the one to deliver his eulogy on behalf of my brothers, sisters and my mum.

I would urge anyone who is considering putting in their will that they don't want any sort of service for there death to think again. The funeral is not for the dead it is for the living. It is a step in the process that allows us to move forward in the absence of someone we loved, relied on and/or cared deeply about.

I am really genuinely sorry for you loss Rene' and I am sorry that you were not offered the opportunity to attend a service in honour of your mother.

 

I just saw the family gathering post Rene'.
I wish you well in your travels, say hi to Daniel for me and I hope you get what you need from the family gathering.

 

I'm late to this thread.

It seems she went quickly, and as long as her affairs were in order, that's better than a long exit. A friend of mine is on chemo and afraid he is on one of those long, painful exits.

If you have a loved one that has a serious illness such as cancer, this site will let you set up a page/guestbook to communicate the patient's progress and those that care to visit: CaringBridge - Free Patient Websites Connect Loved Ones During Serious Health Events.

 

I don't know you as others here do, but I am sadden by your story. I certainly hope you find some comfort in the gathering. I am reminded how such things are always for the ones left behind, not for the ones gone. I hope others who have read your story Rae remember this for their own future.

 

jumping on one of GC's postings rae did you have Idaho potato at breakfast?

 

So very sorry for your loss. My mother also passed away Without much fuss. She went into the hospital 1 day and then simply died in her sleep. We all knew that She had been feeling poorly lately, but she had thyroid problems and what not so none of us thought it was serious so it was a shock to me when she died. She was 79 years old and the only member of her family to die a non violent death under the age of 100.

This was in 2004 In 2008 I found out that she had cancer And turned down treatment that could have prolonged her life. At the time i could not determine if i was mad at her for not telling me (this was very typical or her to not complain. She was an Okinawan mother 100%) or mad at myself for not figuring it out and making her last days better. There are always things to say but i never got a chance to say them. She knew exactly what was going on And slipped into a coma less than an hour after arrival at the hosipital.

For me, the funeral helped me tremendously. She was very active in her church so i had a chance to meet dozens of her friends. None of them knew anything. About her illness either.

I do understand. A parents ned to not burden their children with expensive funerals (my brother died in 2003 and his funeral ran over$ 20,000!!) But i don't think we can underestimate the value of giving your loved ones a chance to say goodbye.

Rene, i hope u and yours are doing well