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eHarmony failure

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by daniel, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. Rae Vynn

    Rae Vynn Artist In Residence

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    Daniel, I learned long ago that it's often better to be happy, than to be right.

    As an incredibly opinionated, stubborn, forceful person, I've learned that it is NOT MY JOB to correct other people's misconceptions/mistakes/thinking. Especially people that I would like to be friends with. If you want to get your "correct" viewpoint out there, write a book. If you want friends/lovers, suck it up, and let them be happy.

    I have way more friends now than I ever did, and I only occasionally get a little twitchy when they spout off insane drivel. ;)
     
    2 people like this.
  2. BigJay

    BigJay reh reh REH reh Torture them!

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    Not only that, it should be required high school reading for all men. It explains why jerks like Jayman and I get the girls, and exactly what the difference is between a "jerk", a "real man", and a "nice guy".

    Too many "nice guys" like Daniel end up jaded and bitter about women when they don't have to be.

    I think I had more in common with the "bad boy" category. In college, I was the dude who usually showed up to class late, wearing my sportsbike leather jacket and lugging my helmet around.

    I rarely called girls back because I was too busy working, doing homework, or out whizzing through the canyons at insane speeds with my friends. My answering machine always had calls on it from some girl or another.

    Once I even changed my message to "Don't know who you are... don't care. Leave a message." I thought it was funny. I had over a dozen messages the next day, you just can't make this kind of thing up.

    On nice days I usually left my helmet locked on my bike, at least three times I came back from class to find phone numbers in it.

    I got a ticket once from "student parking enforcement" with the girl's phone number on it. "Call me tonight! XO XO XO". FFS. Seriously?

    I've had more girls ask for a ride than I could count. One time I was at a gas station, and a hot mom asked me for a quick ride right in front of her teenage daughter.

    Edit: Moral of this story? Get a bike Daniel!
     
  3. SSimon

    SSimon Active Member

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    Wow. So it sounds like gals are as f'd up as guys.

    Your experiences can be switched with mine. I dated a guy for a few years only to find out his family had a pre-arranged wedding planned for him. In retrospect, this demise of our relationship was the best thing that could happen to me because he liked guns, not forks.
     
  4. bredekamp

    bredekamp Member

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    Please allow me to add some background listening to this thread.

     
  5. Stev0

    Stev0 Honorary Hong Kong Cavalier

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    That's not good background music to this thread. THIS is good background music to this thread.

    Why can't you have your cake and eat it, too?
    Why believe in things that make it tough on you?
    Why scream and cry when you know it's through?
    Why fall in love when there's better things to do?
     
  6. bisco

    bisco cookie crumbler

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    i am more in the mind of eleanor rigby.
     
  7. hyo silver

    hyo silver Awaaaaay

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    Wondering where all the lonely people came from?
     
  8. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    Actually I consider myself more of an donkey than a jerk, but whatever
     
  9. qbee42

    qbee42 My other car is a boat

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    But you do it with such charm.

    Tom
     
  10. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    I just think that believing (really believing, not just belonging to a church for social reasons) that the world was created by some nobodaddy aloft especially for us, and that we are the center of the moral universe, and all the rest of the idiocy that every religion's scriptures are filled with, requires a complete abandonment of thinking skills.

    I'm not talking about believing in stuff that "cannot be scientifically proven." I'm talking about believing in stuff that is logically impossible, stuff for which not only is there not one single shred of evidence, but stuff that there is a mountain of evidence and reason and logic AGAINST. I'm talking about beliefs that contradict EVERYTHING that we actually know about the world around us and reject every mental capability we were born with. I'm talking about beliefs that are insane!

    The only woman who ever wanted me was insane. (Multiple incarcerations in the booby hatch and several rounds of electroshock.) However, she never stalked me or stole from me or treated me badly. Although once she got caught shoplifting and I had to go down to the store and buy her way out. But that was part of her insanity, and not something done intentionally to me.

    I know you are right. But I cannot keep my mouth shut. I cannot stop eating or talking, and both have had serious consequences in my life.

    I cannot even stay upright on a bicycle. I would not last 30 seconds on a motorcycle. I had hopes my electric car would be a chick magnet, but it turns out that only pre-adolescent boys are fascinated with it, and I don't swing that way. I also had hopes for the electric Porsche, but as I've talked about elsewhere, the conversion was totally botched, and it's still being repaired.
     
  11. bisco

    bisco cookie crumbler

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    and, where do they all belong? i think we're all lonely in our own way, no matter how many relationships we have.
     
  12. jayman

    jayman Senior Member

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    No, not really
     
  13. octavia

    octavia Active Member

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    I've heard that before. Knew one fella who was not religious but had put christian on his profile. He was really really annoyed with all the christian "church goer girls" who seemed interested in him from there.

    I've heard this before, the site is christian leaning and anyone who marks atheist is auto booted. Sorry Daniel! I've tried other sites as well with no luck. It's so bad at this point that I had even paid ahead on one of them and canceled the account anyway. It was more depressing having an "active" profile that was leading nowhere than to just take a loss.

    Lets not forget to mention the little fact of how picky you are Daniel... In many ways, you and I are in the same boat mister! We are holding out for something special and frankly, we are bringing some of the loneliness that comes with that on ourselves.

    (Speaking for myself here because it would be rude to speak for others) It's not that I can't get ANYONE to date me. It's that I'm looking for someone genuine, intelligent, spiritual, within 15 or so years of my age, with similar life goals and values, who I find attractive. I live in a college/retirement town with a lower than average divorce rate. No wonder I can't find people to date!

    + 1000 You're so right Rae!!!!!

    Hmmm... maybe I should read that book. I suspect it has to do with women being attracted to confident, genuine men. I've found that something that is totally sexy when one man does it, feels dorky when another man imitates. The moral of the story ( in my mind anyway) is to be yourself!

    I've noticed for myself, when I am comfortable enough around someone to just be myself and not care what they think ( interpreted as a bitch by some) I tend to attract men, but when I'm worried about what they think and how they are going to perceive me, they seem less interested. Maybe that's why I can seem to attract men I'm not interested in all day long ,but if I find a man attractive, he almost runs the other way? Either that or Daniel and I are taking the same repela-potion. ;)
     
  14. apriusfan

    apriusfan New Member

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    Um.... They do make 3-wheeler motorcycles, if you are interested. Here is a link to a site that covers trikes: Three Wheel Motorcycles,Three Wheelers,Trike Reviews

    There seems to be a growing community of trike fans. I was at a Holiday Inn recently and a L.A. Harley club was staying over and there were 4 trikes parked with the 2-wheeled Harleys. One even had a trailer that was hooked up trimmed as a '57 Chevy Police car (black and white paint with a red light on the top of the trailer)....

    I would venture you would get some notices.... You might have to bite your tongue on some of your perspectives, but think of it as a challenge of sorts.
     
  15. DeadPhish

    DeadPhish Senior Member

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    If it's for cataract correction... DO IT. It's a breeze and you'll have the eyes of a 4 y.o. again. Had both of mine done two years ago and I'd recommend it to anyone.
     
  16. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    The difference between you and me is that you are HOT!!! I'm just another short, flabby old guy with a pot belly.

    For me it would have to be an electric trike. WAIT A MINUTE! My Zap Xebra has three wheels and is electric. It's registered as a three-wheel motorcycle and to drive it legally I had to take a trike test and get the trike endorsement on my license.

    But it has not gotten me any girls.

    It's not.

    I went in because I see a faint but noticeable flash of light at the edge of my field of vision when I move my eyes right and left in a dark room. They wanted to check my retina for damage, but to do that they have to dilate my pupils. But I have such narrow angles that dilating the pupils could cause glaucoma. Poking holes changes the angle. Once that's done, they can dilate and check the retina.

    Yesterday they poked the right eye, and the pressure shot up from 16 to 47 (I don't know what unit is used). This is supposed to be a very rare occurrence, like maybe 1 in 50. They gave me medicine and drops, and sent me home when the pressure was back down to 43, but the doctor was so worried, that he had me go back in today, even though the clinic is closed, so he could check my eye again. He opened the clinic just for me.

    Today it was back down to 23, still too high, but out of the danger zone. I am to continue using three kinds of drops until next Wednesday, when he'll check again. If he's happy, he'll take me off the glaucoma eye drops and then check me after another week. If I'm good, he'll schedule the other eye, with the expectation that the same will happen (high pressure, meds, drops, recovery). Apparently when it happens on one eye it happens on the other as well.

    My eyes are brown, and brown eyes have unusually thick irises, making them hard to penetrate with the laser. It took him many shots to do it, contributing to the problem. He used to live and work in Hawai'i, where the Asians and Polynesians have even darker, thicker eyes. Sometimes he had to poke for a while, and then have them return in a week to finish the job.

    The procedure was supposed to be painless. The laser shot stings pretty hard. But worse is that it is done through a lens that they put right on your eye. They call it a contact lens, but it's actually a thing about an inch long that they press and hold against your eye, and for about the next 16 hours your eye hurts pretty bad.

    At least it was successful at widening my angle. Besides making dilation dangerous, the narrow angle would eventually have led to glaucoma, so this should prevent that. So it was necessary (as is the other eye, once the first eye is out of danger) but it was NOT fun.
     
  17. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    I got an email from eHarmony (who rejected me but did not take me off their spam mail list!) saying that this weekend you can communicate with your matches for free. So I went back, signed up again, and lied on the profile. I got accepted, and got some "matches," but the trick is that I can communicate with them, but I cannot see their pictures if I don't pay. And since I lied on the questionnaire, these women would probably consider me dishonest once they met me.
     
  18. hyo silver

    hyo silver Awaaaaay

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    That strikes me as dishonest, and more than a little discriminatory. Sure, the users can be 'discriminating' - aka 'fussy', but that's different. Is a christians-only site really any different than 'muslims only' or 'whites only'?
     
  19. Rokeby

    Rokeby Member

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    Hmm.

    Lets put the question to Mick Jagger: :rolleyes:




    (Voted the #1 hit of all time...a universal truth?)







     
  20. bisco

    bisco cookie crumbler

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    that sounds rough, all the best man!:)