Down to the Rapture

TJ, go get a deck of cards.

Got one? OK, shuffle it well.

Done? OK, deal out any 25 cards into a pile.

Square up that pile, the set the rest of the pack down next to it (either side).

Toss a coin.

Heads, you'll use the left pile; tails, the right.

Pick up the selected pile, fan it so you can see the card faces and pick any card - one you'll need to remember. So pull it out of the pile, set the pile back down face down, and remember the card you're holding in your hand.

Pick up the coin and toss it again.

Heads, put your card face down atop the left pile; tails, atop the right.

Take the other pile and put it on top, making the deck whole again.

Deal out 4 Bridge hands of 13 cards each exactly as you'd deal them one at a time to each player in a real game.

Pick up each hand and locate the hand that contains your card.

Discard the other three hands.

Take your hand, and deal out four more piles until the cards are exhausted.

One of the piles will have an extra card - discard that pile; it's possessed by demons and if allowed to remain will queer the trick.

Of the 3 remaining piles, remove and discard the top cards.

Now remove and discard the BOTTOM cards of each pile.

From left to right, gather up the last three cards into a stack, 1, 2, 3.

AGAIN, discard the top card.

And now discard the BOTTOM card.

You should be able to guess by now what card remains in your hand.


I couldn't resist!

MB

 

Then there's THIS old ESP chestnut ...

MB

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TJandGENESIS @ Mar 25 2007, 02:34 AM) [snapback]411812[/snapback]</div>

I beg to differ with you, TJ. When the disciples could not cast out a devil from possessing a little boy, Jesus said to His disciples: "Only by fasting and prayer can this be done."

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 25 2007, 08:50 AM) [snapback]411852[/snapback]</div>

Lively, only you will have to answer to the Lord for your beliefs and actions. No one else can do that for you. So if at the end of your life, you face judgement day and He asks you what you did with the knowledge that you had about Him, what will you say then?

 

First of all..... no one at my church knows me in any intimate detail... I am new to this area and have not shared intimate views with anyone.... another proof of your lies and being desperate.

Second, I have no idea what sins are active in your life, but I can tell what is in your heart based on what you defend and views you protect......your a liberal to the bone.

Thirdly, some of my statements are pointed at your source of how you view the bible. The catholic faith if filled with honest good people trying to find God, but the religion itself has grown far off course.... it was birthed in politics and still is strongly based in that fashion.. they have never been tapped into what God is doing... they are the perfect example of mans religion that follows a form and ritual rather than the voice of God.

I'm not going as far as saying you "know" your evil, but I am saying your doctrine if far offbase and your words are filled with hope of man rather than reality of knowing God.

I know you hope that if you can discredit me that my words can then be less credible..... although I welcome any personal examination based on anybody you may think knows me.... just be truthful and keep your facts straight and don't lie to yourself for the sake of others viewpoints.... thats what the religious do that seek mans acceptance rather than Gods.

I am not trying to win a popularity contest.. I only call it like I see it.

Lastly, be real, you discount what so many others know as real and you also discount the scriptures......

I don't really care if you attack my words.. they are not bible, but the words you never seem to respond to are the words I share of scripture.

You can't fight against those.. so you try to distract and attack me as if that will take away the power of the scriptures I share.

Forbidding to marry and preventing eathing certain things as if God will disapprove are carried by several off course religions..... and as yo can see.. even back when the new testament was written its beginnings were already at play....

Anything to make "works" as whats its all about.. the better the devil likes it, then he can condemn..... but the christian is free from the law of sin and death.

 

Windstrings, was the exorcism performed on you?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(loveit @ Mar 26 2007, 08:31 AM) [snapback]412243[/snapback]</div>

If you really want the answer, and aren't just asking a rhetorical question, then here it is (Oh--and this is a response to your Christian God. I would have a slightly different one to the Hebrew God, or Allah):

IF at the end of my life, there is a judgment day (which I don't buy, anyway), I'd say something like this: "God, Earth is AMAZING, and thanks for the life you bestowed on me. I love how you created the cool breezes in the Appalachians on a dewy spring morning. Thanks for all you've done. I hope I made you proud in treating your creation respectfully. And I just want you to know, so many people on Earth took your words and bastardized them, translating them into their own causes, and calling themselves disciples of yours and your son's when in fact they were evil personified. I chose NOT to be in the company of these false prophets, ignoring their hatred, and instead focused on trying to live my life as you had your son live it--giving, providing, listening, understanding, and above all, loving--even those that others said were unlovable. Granted--I wasn't perfect, and I know I made mistakes, but for the most part, I was successful. I have never thought that you were conceited enough to only require worship of your son as a means to heaven. Instead of worshipping him, I considered him a friend. Hey--what happened to all of those false prophets that threw around Bible quotes like they were truly your word instead of understanding that they were tainted by us non-perfect humans?"

God: "You don't even wanna know. And thanks for the support in action and words on Earth. Now, we've got a whole bunch of folks up here--Taoists, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslim, Agnostics, and Jewish, among others. One of our favorite past-times is discussing how we can get everyone on Earth to understand that I am in everything. Every time you are thankful for your family, you are thanking me because I am in your family. Every time you take a sip of a freshly-made mojito, and think "This is SO good," you are saying that I am so good. Every time you cry because you are swayed with emotion, understand that I am in that emotion, so therefore, I have moved you. I am in everything!

You know I was speaking to Rodney King the day he said "Can't we all just get along?" Too bad he had other issues...weird how those false prophets don't hear my voice through lay people, or people they deem unworthy. Oh well--mojitos to your left, coffee to your right, we've got a huge library in the back, and every song ever recorded is available for download--free! Even Ani DiFranco bootlegs! Make yourself at home...you're more than welcome here."

And there you go. There's my answer.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 09:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

Wow! I never knew being liberal was a sin.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 09:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

Way to offend Catholics! Are you saying that no one among the Pope, cardinals, bishops and priests hear the voice of god or are "tapped into" what god is doing? Sweet fancy moses, how closed-minded can you get?

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 09:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

No, but you'll certainly imply it. the word "but" in your sentence all but says you think TJ 'knows' he's evil. For crying out loud, man, if your belief is that strong, have the cojones to say it straight out.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 09:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

And you don't discount what others know as real? Oh, wait a minute. I forgot. What they know is real isn't really real. Only what you know as real is really real. Sheesh.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Proco @ Mar 26 2007, 10:58 AM) [snapback]412304[/snapback]</div>

Mind if I use this? I love it! "Sweet fancy Moses." Awesome! :lol: And certainly sounds better than some less-polite euphemisms I say...

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 26 2007, 11:34 AM) [snapback]412327[/snapback]</div>

Go right ahead. Although I can't take credit for it. It's from a Seinfeld episode.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(livelychick @ Mar 26 2007, 10:36 AM) [snapback]412287[/snapback]</div>

I understand where you got your perspective from.... from yourself.

Where did you get what you figure would be God's answer to your preceeding statement? Did you make that up too? Is that what you would do if you were God? It's not what God would say if He was God... and He is God, and I think before you die, you probably want to go find out what His answer would be to your statement. You may wish to choose course correction based on your new findings.

You spend 10 years studying for a 1 time, 1 chance exam that clearly says "Use a #2 Pencil to darken the circles only" and you're planning on showing up with a red Bic ball point pen?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daronspicher @ Mar 26 2007, 01:48 PM) [snapback]412440[/snapback]</div>

Yep. Same as you. A perspective is highly personal--you can't have mine, I can't have yours.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daronspicher @ Mar 26 2007, 01:48 PM) [snapback]412440[/snapback]</div>

Inaccurate analogy, but if you want to stick with it, the answer is "Nope." There is no exam at all; the true "test" was the knowledge you obtained while you studied, and how you use that knowledge. (Call it "no good person left behind," if that makes you understand it more...)

Too many people think they should be able to bring their little pencil to the "test" with no studying, as if that's the only way to "pass"...sorry, doesn't work, either. (Call it "every hypocrite left behind" if it makes you understand it more...)

 

Some people think `the test` is how we live our whole lives, not what we say at the end.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hyo silver @ Mar 26 2007, 03:27 PM) [snapback]412502[/snapback]</div>

One of my points, exactly.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hyo silver @ Mar 26 2007, 02:27 PM) [snapback]412502[/snapback]</div>

How you live your whole life may affect your "rewards" in heaven... but as far as whether you get in or not...

This pretty much says it all.....

I know allot of folks find fault with my words because I am so confrontational.. so I will use less of mine and more of his.....

(Ezek 18:20 NKJV) "The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
(Ezek 18:21 NKJV) "But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die.
(Ezek 18:22 NKJV) "None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live.
(Ezek 18:23 NKJV) "Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord GOD, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live?
(Ezek 18:24 NKJV) "But when a righteous man turns away from his righteousness and commits iniquity, and does according to all the abominations that the wicked man does, shall he live? All the righteousness which he has done shall not be remembered; because of the unfaithfulness of which he is guilty and the sin which he has committed, because of them he shall die.
(Ezek 18:25 NKJV) "Yet you say, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' Hear now, O house of Israel, is it not My way which is fair, and your ways which are not fair?
(Ezek 18:26 NKJV) "When a righteous man turns away from his righteousness, commits iniquity, and dies in it, it is because of the iniquity which he has done that he dies.

(Ezek 18:27 NKJV) "Again, when a wicked man turns away from the wickedness which he committed, and does what is lawful and right, he preserves himself alive.
(Ezek 18:28 NKJV) "Because he considers and turns away from all the transgressions which he committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die.
(Ezek 18:29 NKJV) "Yet the house of Israel says, 'The way of the Lord is not fair.' O house of Israel, is it not My ways which are fair, and your ways which are not fair?
(Ezek 18:30 NKJV) "Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin.
(Ezek 18:31 NKJV) "Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel?
(Ezek 18:32 NKJV) "For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!"

 

This thread is disastrously off-topic.

The original post, if you will recall, was about Dubya photochopped very amusingly, I thought, into what looked to be a Watchtower handout depicting someone's idea of the rapture.

I swear, you could throw a pound coin on the floor in the room that is FHOP, and people would find a way to argue about their own highly specific, overly detailed and frenetically typed up versions of Christianity. Hatefully exchanged, just like Christ taught us, right?



Avoiding being "lukewarm" doesnt' mean mercilessly trying to badger-as-evangelism, IMHO.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(zapranoth @ Mar 27 2007, 02:50 AM) [snapback]412741[/snapback]</div>

You noticed??

:lol:

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 11:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

ALAN, ALAN, ALAN...what ever floats your boat...I know what I know I know is the truth...but again, you believe in what you want. It's the internets, after all, ALAN.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 11:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

Me? A registered Republican? Who voted for Reagan, Bush One, and Bush Jr (a mistake that I regret, BTW)?

I have liberal tendencies, but some 'liberals' would not consider a Jesus Freak a liberal. More so, they would put me in the conservative camp. And what is wrong with being a liberal anyway? I guess, the more I think about it, I lean liberal what with being a hippie type, who drives two green cars, recycles, cares for others...dang liberal values. Just like Abe Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt. That's the kind of Republican I am. Liberal type.

 

So... Christianity is about being better than other people, or at least trying to seem better than other people on internet subforums?

If that's what y'all want to preach to those here who don't believe, well, bang on.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 11:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

Now, ALAN, why I am a escaped Catholic, and not a huge fan, (based on my own personal experiences, natch), I would not put down all Catholics. My brothers are Catholic, and one is in high lay position.
What you have said here, is that Catholics also don't match up to your personal view of Christians. I'm not sure, but I would guess a lot of Catholics would not agree with you.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(zapranoth @ Mar 27 2007, 03:20 AM) [snapback]412757[/snapback]</div>

I'm not sure what ALAN'S view on Christianity is, but my view differs, for sure. I think Christians are the same as other people, no matter what. Not perfect. And I don't personally give a rats nice person if anyone believes or not. Doesn't bother me, if you believe in The Bunny.

Whatever makes your day. My PERSONAL beef with ALAN, is his holier then everyone vibe. It gets under my skin, I'll admit.

If ALAN wants to worship a 'god' that hates, and is racist, and does not want anyone but believers, then that is ALANS right. And if he just said that, and let it be, I would not respond to him.

BUT, he does insist on being 100% Correct, and thus, I have to counter point him here. Well, I don't have to, but it fills the time when I am working, and on a 'down' minute or two.

Oh, and ALAN, I thought you said you would not respond to me, a few posts back, and I said that was fine, but you went ahead and responded. Tisk. Tisk.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(windstrings @ Mar 26 2007, 11:26 AM) [snapback]412254[/snapback]</div>

Well, as someone else said, you seem to be calling me evil. My doctrine, as it is, is just different then yours, and for some reason, you can't accept that. I am not sure why you can't accept that, but you can't.

And as far as discrediting you, it's not me that does it. It's you and your words. I have tried to warn you, but you don't, again, want to accept that. I think you are as hard headed as I am.

If you are not trying to win a popularity contest, then congratulations on that. If you think, you are calling it as you see it, then you are blind...

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TJandGENESIS @ Mar 26 2007, 12:08 AM) [snapback]412203[/snapback]</div>

I think he's trying to apply the "forbidding to marry" verse to the Catholic Church; you mentioned them in regards to exorcism, so somehow in the muddle of it all ... I doubt either of you are Catholic ... some Catholic bashing had to come into the mix. But the Catholics do not forbid marriage in general, they "honor" the passage of Paul's where Paul says it is better for a servant of God to be unmarried than to be burdened with a family. So priests no longer marry.

The problem is that I don't agree with any one of these interpretations. My understanding of the passage in Timothy is that it refers to a group of Christians who forbade any pleasure at all ... the Essenes? IIRC ... and among the things that they forbid was the natural pleasures God ordained, such as eating good food, having sex with your wife, etc. Good pleasure is "good", and it pleases God as much to see his children enjoying themselves as it does me to see one of my children enjoying themselves.

And Paul's thought about not getting married was simply because he was an itinerant preacher, traveling throughout the Roman world, and obviously headed for punishment. In that case, it would be better to not marry and have kids; not better for you, but better to not put your family through it.