Prius Teaches A Lesson...

Prius teaches a lesson…

Ok, so I’ve been toying with the idea of swapping the Prius for something a little bigger. Well, ok, A LOT bigger, as, obviously, I need to openly express my manhood in any random parking lot and highway merges. Anyway, over the weekend, one dealership actually shoved a 2004 Ford Expedition down my throat, while trying to shove a mediocre deal up another orifice, gave me dealer plates, and told me to take it home for the weekend to see what I thought.

Wow. Awesome ride, thing has three rows of seats, and you can supposedly cram in 8 people, while smoothly running over whatever angry minority mob you might come across given it’s 4-wheel independent suspension system. So, I thought about it for a while… It was a beautiful State-police-esque blue with “privacy†windows, and as one might expect from a 2004, it was in really good shape (took it into my garage, got under it, checked out a bunch of the components (things like tie rod ends, ball joint boots, exhaust system, etc.)).

So I went to check out the fuel economy on http://www.fueleconomy.gov , and, of course, as I expected, the fuel economy sucked. What I didn’t expect, is just how much of a pollutant it is (if you haven’t already done so, check out that site, and compare various vehicles to the Prius :lol: ). Anyway, I was lost in thought for most of the weekend over whether or not to lay the smack down, and as Nike once said, “do itâ€. I mean, I loved it. Felt like your own personal armored vehicle, and being that I’m leaving for Florida for vacation over the weekend, it would have made a most excellent travel vehicle (hence the “Expeditionâ€, I suppose).

Then I started going through bank statements assessing what my average monthly expenditure for fuel was. Turns out, I average about $90 per month with the Prius. With my prior truck (having very similar mileage to this particular Expedition), my monthly average was anywhere between $275-$375. So then I started taking count of all the “stupid†crap I spend money on over any given month. You know, stuff like DVD’s, video games, books, going out to eat, porn, escort services, etc., when the following phrase popped into my head:

“treat yourself, not oil companies…â€

I was suddenly sickened at the thought of spending an extra several hundred dollars on nothing more than simply fuel. There was/is just no really good reason for it (unless, of course, you have legitimate use for such a vehicle, which I fully admit I don’t :lol: ), regardless of how good of a deal I could have scored.

Problem is, the Prius has placed a serious bias upon me. Now I groan with gas-guzzler disgust even on vehicles that get, let’s say, around 25mph on the highway!

So, the next morning (one day early), I said, “F-thisâ€, and returned the truck to a rather glum looking salesman for whom I spent no less than 4 hours with test driving about 5 different trucks, feeling better about myself, the environment, and my wallet.

The end.

h34r:

 

:lol:


Much like being surrounded by obese people slobbering down chili at Wendy's leaving goatee pattern chili stains on their fat faces with shiny fat sausage-like fingers from greasy fries on a 90 degree day...

...I just felt icky.

Seeing the rating at the left-most side of the scale, right under the "worst" caption wasn't too cool.

:angry:

 

YES!!!

That is sooo bizarre it's AWESOME!!!

 

...I don't know about weep, but he was visibly disappointed. I spent a lot of time test driving different trucks, going back an fourth, like a 6 year old at a toy store: pick up one, put it down and pickup another. Put THAT one back and pick up the OTHER one again... That sort of thing...

I sort of felt bad for him though... Apparently, he was going through a bad divorce, fidgeted a lot, and had a face for which only a lot of stress could shape. He had one of those funny names (something like (name changed to protect his identity :lol: ) Mikey Michaelson) for which he probably picked up a lot of hot 70's girls back in the day with long, perfectly parted straight hair, in his 70's van with those round bubble windows in the back...



h34r:

 

HOLY CRAP!

I wasn't sure who Gil from the Simpsons is, so I looked him up...

...uncanny

...simply uncanny...



h34r: