need advice on paint repair

I came out of work today to my reserved parking space in a totally reserved section of the parking ramp I use in Buffalo to find that some low-life had side swiped the right rear bumper and right above the wheel well.
The damage looks to be a deep scuff. I can't detect a crease and the paint is not scuffed the whole way through to the metal but did go through paint layers in a streak on the bumper (two lines-3/8 to 1/2 inch circular wear through spot at the deepest point). Needless to say I am unhappy. I pay for a reserved space with known "neighbors" at double the normal rate for parking in the same ramp in Buffalo, NY. The city managed ramp didn't monitor for the low-life "squater" who did this and ran with no note/etc.

So, I went to the dealer for a quote for paint repair, believing that would be my best chance for a good match/repair. Their solution involves popping the rear bumper to paint it, popping the window in the rear quarter panel, popping the rubber gasket on the roof, blending and painting into the top of the body frame above the rear door, painting onto the door to blend--all for $1300--which seems like an overkill. I have the dark metallic grey which can fade. About 25 years ago, I had a repair on a Saab where the paint was blended to mid points and the line became very visible with age. I'm not sure this is the thing to do. Although they guarantee the paint for 5 years, this could be a very visible problem with a real demarcation line. Second, this is more than I can afford now. There is no point that goes through the paint (fully) to the metal surface. I want my car to look nice and it won't without a paint repair.

What is reasonable? There is nothing to pull, fill, etc. Even the "adjuster" said so.

Can a good, non-dealer paint a Prius and match paint if they have the computer code for the paint? The dealer was going to use a Dupont paint and rely on the computer code--Is there some other brand that should be used?

The "dealer" shop was a shop for all of the massive mega dealership's brands. It was not an exclusively Toyota shop.

I have a $1000 deductible on my insurance and won't make a claim for the hit and run. I just can't afford what was quoted.

Next question--why did the adjuster insist on taking my registration and VIN for a quote--even though I said I was only asking for a quote--and was not making a claim on my insurance? I bought the car there and he would not give me my registration back, even after writing down the VIN until I insisted.

Thanks for any suggestions or information you can give.