How can I support my wife who just learned that she has DIABETES?

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(fphinney @ Feb 13 2007, 09:46 PM) [snapback]390037[/snapback]</div>

Several in my family have diabetes, and my doctor tells me things don't look too good for me in that department (very high triglycerides, one of the precursors). For adult-onset diabetes, the severity is often much less than the juvenile kind. My mother was diagnosed at 40, and is controlling her blood sugar with diet; one of the mildest forms.

My brother was diagnosed three years ago, and has been working to limit sugar and the simple carbs that turn into sugar very quickly (things like white rice, etc.), and also to increase exercise to try and control his blood sugar. His blood sugar level is not being maintained, and he thinks he will have to go on insulin within a year or two (he is 58). Other than changing his diet, and taking walks every evening, it has not impacted his life significantly, and he is OK with the idea of insulin.

A late diagnosis is usually a sign of a milder case. One of the more debilitating issues is with loss of vision (diabetic retinopathy), but when you read the research, it affects those with older onset much less (see http://japan.medscape.com/viewarticle/546098_3) Other vascular things are scary indeed; you hear of people who have had amputations, etc. But, again, getting a diagnosis later in life usually means less severe symptoms.

Because there are so many types of diabetes, you or your wife should do the research and prepare questions for the doctor. By "prepare", I mean make a list. Don't hand it to the doctor; hold it and ask the questions. If you don't understand something, let him know, and make sure you get the explanations that you are satisfied with.

Your wife was probably stunned by the diagnosis, and the doctor may not have realized the impact the words had on her; then, he didn't explain any more, which increases her feelings of isolation. She may not be the research type, so you can be a great partner in this area.

While the research may be too much for your wife to handle right now, you can wade through the early, confusing stuff and help her deal with the illness. Look for a local chapter of the American Diabetes Association at http://www.diabetes.org. These organizations are a wealth of information, and can really help.

Best of luck to you and your wife.

 

I am new to the forums but feel that I can contribute in this instance. Although I'm sure you are capable of being a one-man support team, you have to realize that your wife, you, your family, and her doctor have to work together. Diabetes has short-term consequences that your wife and you need to know about, but it's the longer term consequences that take the most discipline to tackle. With good all-around support and a good doctor, your wife will learn to control her blood sugars very well, and to minimize other risk factors such as blood pressure and cholesterol. One easy thing you can start off with right now is to join her in changing eating habits and adopt a heart healthy diet if you haven't done so already. Another is to start keeping a notebook of her blood sugars at home. Bring a list of her medications and the notebook each time she goes to see the doctor. Work closely with the doctor. And remember, there are many people who learn to take control of their diabetes and live a long and healthy life.

Another valuable site to visit: http://www.tcoyd.org/

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(fphinney @ Feb 14 2007, 12:46 AM) [snapback]390037[/snapback]</div>

I feel your pain. My better half received that verdict several years ago. But take heart. By careful management of blood sugar levels, damage to vital organs can be greatly delayed. If her case is manageable without dependance on insulin injection there are many medications available to bring blood sugar back to normal levels. Find a good endocrinologist to manage the case, rather than depending on your primary care doc.

Medicare Part B now covers expenses for diabetic supplies, so the cost burden in minimal. Consult the American Diabetes Association web site for moral support. While you may feel crushed at first, I feel you will do the natural thing in helping her with the process of control and winning the battle together.

 

3 quick suggestions:

1) Get a good meter with computer download capabilities. My favorite is the OneTouch systems. You can request the software from the company. I use it for my patients. The most helpful graphs are the Standard Day and Trend graphs.

2) Keep a log of what is eaten and how much as well as the blood sugar level afterwards. You will start to notice that certain foods affect your particular sugars much more than others.

Note: A Florida diabetes specialist I once heard lecture has his patients take a sugar level before a meal and then 60 to 90 min after a meal. It is his contention (and true) that if a patient can keep their after meal sugar no more than 40 points greater than the pre-meal sugar that he can control anyones diabetes.

3) The best online place to start is the American Diabetes Association website www.diabetes.org

While at this point we do not "cure" diabetes, long term control is quite achievable. Be aware this is more in the hands of your wife than her doctor. All we can do is point the way.

 

There are a ton of resources on the web, from reputable organizations.

I like to start looking up diseases with the Mayo Clinic. Take a look at their Diabetes Center.

For more depth, and no agenda, look at the American Diabetes Association.

The most important thing to know, particularly with late onset, is that it is very likely a controllable problem. Her doctor is the best source of information for her particular case. Many people can control blood sugar with diet and exercise. Lots of books are out there, with wonderful recipes. Being diabetic doesn't mean you can't eat delicious food, which will be good for you too. A good diet for glucose control and regular exercise are the cornerstone of all diabetes treatment.

Some people may require oral drugs like Glucophage or Avandia. These drugs are generally well tolerated and very effective.

If the disease progresses to insulin dependence, even there new technologies and treatments exist.

For your wife, diabetes will be a chronic disease that she will have to treat for the rest of her life. The good news is that many treatments are available and having diabetes is no reason to give up having fun!

 

I know nothing of diabetis, and earlier posters have addressed the issues specific to the disease. My comments are more general:

Your simple presence and your love will be a great comfort to her. You can search out the resources she needs, and thereby save her some of the work.

But know also that the passage of time helps cushion the emotional shock. It won't do any good to tell her that, but know that if she takes the positive steps necessary, she will feel less distress over it as time goes on. Changing her diet may be difficult, but people can and do become accustomed to different diets, and the new diet will eventually feel as satisfying as the old one. (I speak from experience here, as I've undergone two radical changes in diet in my life.) And in this you can help her by adopting the same diet, because the low-glycemic diet she needs to adopt is healthier for you as well. It may be hard to give up sweets and white-flour products, but it is not the end of the world.

So my advice is: Take the research burden off her shoulders, be present for her with your love, and make the new diet a team project. And don't forget plenty of hugs. (I sure could use some myself, with what I'm going through right now.)

 

fphinney,

I feel for your wife, but like some have said, there many things that can be done, particularly exercise and diet. Probably dividing a daily diet into more meals to control blood sugar was one of the suggestions. I've heard cases of people actually stopping insulin treatment from a better lifestyle, although that takes a lot of work.

 

i'm sorry to hear of your situation, fphinney.

as far as the disease itself goes i'm no expert. but as a wife who's had some major medical drama lately i can say that just by being there for her and letting her vent her fears, frustrations, and anything else that you're being a wonderfully supportive husband. and if she doesn't want to talk about it, well, that's understandable. i went through that too. just hold her hand and make sure she knows you're there no matter what.

she will probably have to change her diet. i bet you could turn this into a new adventure by searching for new recipes and making them together.

good luck to you both!

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(fshagan @ Feb 14 2007, 01:18 AM) [snapback]390042[/snapback]</div>

fshagan,

I've had remarkable success in getting my cholesterol numbers under control by banning all trans-fats from my diet. I also take 10 mg of Lipitor, but by far my results are from getting all trans fats (partially hydrogentated oils) completely out of my diet.

My cholesterol numbers were horrible, and are now perfect. My triglycerides were sky-high, and are now ideal. I was in the highest risk category for heart attack/stroke. I am now in the lowest category, and my doctor describes my cholesterol numbers (including triglycerides) as "perfect." Ban the trans fats, find out where they occur (most baked goods) and watch your numbers improve dramatically.

Diabetes is a common ailment, which many, many people have.

My grandson came down with juvenile diabetes when he was 2 years old. That was tragic news and I took it hard. His mother is supervising his situation well, he has an insulin pump, and he is doing well.

Harry

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(fphinney @ Feb 14 2007, 12:46 AM) [snapback]390037[/snapback]</div>

I'm the natural, homeopathic resident here and I always look for the natural remedies whenever possible.

Diabetes is one of several degenerative diseases that a person with it can benefit greatly by a dairy-free vegetarian diet. I recommend Becoming Vegetarian which is written by three registered dieticians (Melina, Davis and Harrison. The ISBN is 1-57067-013-7). I adhere to many of its recommendations, although I am not a vegetarian per se. I still eat salmon (wild) and chicken but eat a lot of vegan meals and seldom consume dairy products. Good nutrition is often overlooked by a lot of people but it won't hurt her to adopt a healthier diet. It may help so why not try it? It won't replace medicine and a good doctor but it will help in easing the symptoms and give her a lot of help.

From Dr. Andrew Weil:
http://secure.agoramedia.com/weil/index_we...il=&ccgkey=

He also says that this is another disease that stem cell research is expected to provide help down the road:
http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA346980

Also from ABCHomeopathy.com:
http://www.abchomeopathy.com/c.php/51

 

Many people are going to find they have "adult onset (Type II) diabetes." This requires a focused lifestyle (diet, exercise) change for the entire family. You must examine your grocery shopping, food preparation and restaurant dining practices in detail. Society and culture emphasize high fat, high salt fast food. You must educate yourself. You will not get quality information from most physicians, schools or restaurants. End result: everyone will be healthier, happier and wealthier.

View this as a positive opportunity. Many have Type II diabetes and do not realize it, but suffer the effects (vision, heart disease, etc.). Embrace your newfound health.

Start with these credible web sites:

http://www.webmd.com/content/pages/9/3068_9408.htm (Dean Ornish, MD)
ttp://www.cooperaerobics.com/default.aspx (Kenneth Cooper, MD, MPH)
http://www.drmcdougall.com/ (John McDougal, MD)

 

To add to the great suggestions above:

1. Find a great endocrinologist doctor. They can all have wildly different opinions. One may suggest oral meds while the next suggests stomach bands or stapling, while the next may suggest insulin injections. Try all the docs and settle on one you believe in.

2. Search the internet and find diabetes classes at your local hospitals...pick one that lasts more than a week (8+ hours) and sign up today. And go with your wife to the classes to learn what it's all about and how to support her.

3. Monitor her sugar levels and cut out foods that send her sugars through the roof (carbs, sugars, etc.). Start walking 30 mins. a few times a week.

4. If she's overweight and has serious sugar levels (maybe 180+), find a doctor that believes in using the "Byetta" injectible...it reduces appetite and helps bring sugar down well. The doc may also suggest several other oral meds to protect the heart and kidneys, etc. from damage due to high sugars.

5. If her sugars drop too low from treatments, start carrying hard candy and quickly digestible sugars to bring her sugars back up to normal levels. The drug store has sugar tablets for just this scenario.

6. Don't stress out...it's quite common. There are lots of simple changes you both can do that make a big difference.

Good Luck! Feel free to email me privately if you want to chat more. Check my profile on here for my email addy.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(daniel @ Feb 14 2007, 08:35 AM) [snapback]390117[/snapback]</div>

Knowing nothing of diabetes myself, I agree with Daniel. Being able to help (or completely handle) the research and digesting the volumes of information you'll no doubt find will be a huge help. But more important than that is being a loving & caring husband. Be there for her when she needs you and try to be more aware of what her emotional needs are.

One thing to remember, too, is that the two of you aren't alone in this. Talk with your friends & family. As you've already seen by reaching out the PC community, you never know when someone else has gone through exactly the same thing and can lend support and advice. Even if it's keeping the PC community in the loop with how things are going.

The last thing is don't forget yourself in all this. There may be times that you feel overwhelmed with information or trying to keep everything straight. Honor that feeling and take a little time to recharge your own battery or ask for help from someone else. You won't do her or yourself any good if you're burned out.

My best to you and your wife.

PS for Daniel ... if I could give you a hug from NJ, I would. I may not be Juliette Lewis (hell, I'm not even the same gender), but I hope you'd accept it.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(JackDodge @ Feb 14 2007, 09:53 AM) [snapback]390164[/snapback]</div>

Got a question about soy products - good, bad, or neutral from a diabetic viewpoint? I eat cold ceral for most breakfasts.

I love this soy drink - it's like milk, but is this good?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Delta Flyer @ Feb 14 2007, 11:53 AM) [snapback]390205[/snapback]</div>

Nothing's wrong with soy milk but I'd mix it up a bit by using almond and rice milk from time to time. Almond is really sweet, ironically. Becoming Vegetarian mentions that a lot of problems (asthma in children for example) are caused or exacerbated by cow's milk. They recommend staying away from dairy products as much as possible. I eat a lot of soy but always look for alternatives because too much of anything isn't good for me. Soy ice cream is amazingly good and doesn't make me feel bloated and heavy if I eat an entire pint.

During my last physical, my doctor said 'so you don't drink milk. How do you get calcium?' It's always surprising how little medical doctors know about nutrition. My answer was that I eat almonds. She didn't know that almonds had calcium in them. A half cup of milk has 144-151 mg of calcium and a third cup of almonds have 120-176. A lot of people don't know that you can get protein from broccoli and spinach. Nutritional knowledge is such a great weapon to have in fighting disease.

 

I'll try mixing it up with almond or rice milk, since someone else has suggested it before.

I donate platets on average once every two weeks. I can tell which times I had more meat in the week before the donation because the total cholestrol count is higher.

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Delta Flyer @ Feb 14 2007, 12:53 PM) [snapback]390205[/snapback]</div>

I don't know if you mean "good for you" or "good tasting". If "good for you", the ingredients appear fine and soy is a very healthy protein to consume. If you mean "good tasting", it's a flavored soy drink so I'm not too sure how it will do in cereals. You may discover that plain or vanilla is better tasting than this drink. Also, I don't see an organic labeling so you are probably drinking a beverage that contains gentically modified soy beans. Some people don't care about this but I thought I'd point it out.

The best means of ensuring a healthy diet is to eat a wiiiiiide variety of foods and change up the food pairings constantly. There are certain components in foods that can interfere with the uptake of vitamins and minerals in others, or that are required in order for the body to properly absorb them. A few examples....Vitamin D is needed for calcium absorption, animal protiens leach calcium from bones, Vitamin C is required for iron absorption.

My dad has adult onset diabetes but he doesn't manage his diet at all. Actually, he eats like total crap. The affects of this have been catastrophic. I can speak first hand how important diet is in controlling the potential consequences of this disease. I think Daniel is right on about how to go about helping her tackle and come to terms with this news. It's best not to feel victimized so information gathering is probably key. In that way, she can apply any changes to her lifestyle for the betterment of her future health.

Daniel, I'm giving you a hug right now. I hope you're feeling ok.

 

By "good", I meant if the Bolthouse soy drink was healthy. It does have a relatively high sugar content.

My biggest problem is I still need to get my portions smaller.

On vitamins, I take them, but wonder if the best policy is to get the nutrition from the diet first - then let the vitamins fill in the gaps?

 

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Delta Flyer @ Feb 14 2007, 01:50 PM) [snapback]390247[/snapback]</div>

It's absolutely better to try to obtain vitamins and minerals from diet. If you're going to rely heavily on supplements for dietary nutrition, you better know your stuff. Some vitamins and minerals come in different forms and some are better than others. As an example, I think it's vitamin D that comes with an "L" or a "D" in front of it on the labeling. One is definitely better than the other, I just can't remember which. Calcium is another that comes in various forms and you should research which is more absorbable. Also, certain minerals can be chelated, which are thought to be better absorbed by the body. So you see, there's a whole bunch to know about supplement if you're relying on them heavily for nutrition. Just try to eat healthy daily and you'll be a lot better off.