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Funny Epitaphs

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by Starfall, Dec 23, 2006.

  1. Starfall

    Starfall New Member

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    When I was on GEnie (an old online service now long forgotten), we had a fantastic thread about epitaphs. With the wit & facility with words I see in this forum, I thought this might be fun here.

    Rules are, just add one, tho' I'm starting out with a few to get things started:

    MR. TORN - RIP
    MRS. MUIR - She Finally Gave Up The Ghost
    RUDOLPH - Our Deer Departed
    MRS. O'LEARY'S COW - Kicked the Bucket
    FRED ROGERS - No More Mr. Nice Guy
     
    #1 Starfall, Dec 23, 2006
  2. airportkid

    airportkid Will Fly For Food

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    Here lies a tenderfoot, name of Steve,
    Learnt the hard way, did this cheat,
    Two fours, two Jacks, and one Jack up his sleeve,
    Three deuces and a .38 slug it still can't beat.
     
    #2 airportkid, Dec 23, 2006
  3. black_metal_525

    black_metal_525 New Member

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    "He called the Don a liar."

    "I'd rather be here than with the in-laws."

    "Here lies Mr. Reece,
    First name: Jake.
    He stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake."

    "The last words of Mr. Tuscano:
    'So you're absolutely sure this is the right wire to cut?"

    "May he rest in peace, Mr. John Applegate:
    Just one final bite and he finished his plate.
    He was known all around for how much that he ate,
    But the restaurant floor couldn't hold all that weight."
     
    #3 black_metal_525, Dec 23, 2006
  4. Godiva

    Godiva AmeriKan Citizen

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    Exercise hard, eat fiber. Die anyway.
     
    #4 Godiva, Dec 23, 2006
  5. Starfall

    Starfall New Member

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    H. DUMPTY - Rest in Pieces
     
    #5 Starfall, Dec 24, 2006
  6. EddieF

    EddieF New Member

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    I told you I was sick.
     
    #6 EddieF, Dec 24, 2006
  7. daniel

    daniel Cat Lovers Against the Bomb

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    "Too late to call the cops."
     
    #7 daniel, Dec 24, 2006
  8. Starfall

    Starfall New Member

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    THE SPICE GIRLS - Out of thyme
     
    #8 Starfall, Dec 25, 2006
  9. Alnilam

    Alnilam The One in the Middle

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    This one isn't funny but I've never been able to forget it.

    In the old abandoned cemetery in the ghost-town of Bodie there is a stone that simply says:

    "Elizabeth, my wife."

    It broke my heart a hundred years later.
     
    #9 Alnilam, Dec 26, 2006
  10. Starfall

    Starfall New Member

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    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Alnilam @ Dec 26 2006, 06:53 PM) [snapback]366872[/snapback]</div>
    That's because those few words said it all. And then some.

    Mine isn't exactly funny either, but I'll continue what I began as a hopefully humorous thread:

    GEORGE W. BUSH - We are forever in your debt
     
    #10 Starfall, Dec 26, 2006
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