Is it civil war in which we're immersed? "I'ts worse!", says Annan, with a curse But if they deny it, the public will buy it. The "Iraq's a threat" lie takes the purse. The storm shut down O'Hare last week. Just after the Thanksgiving peak.
The storm shut down O'Hare last week. Just after the Thanksgiving peak. The airport's forced diet All was so quiet It was nice to hear people speak. Sometimes you find a great friend Ne'er found round every bend
Sometimes you find a great friend Ne'er found round every bend But, to be blunt Friends stab in the front Instead of the back or rear end A man tried every way to lose weight But would not exercise or watch what he ate
A man tried every way to lose weight But would not exercise or watch what he ate Well, what was he thinking? Does thinking cause shrinking? I hope he stops taking that bait Redecorating's hard when you're frugal Thank goodness there's Yahoo and Google
Redecorating's hard when you're frugal Thank goodness there's Yahoo and Google My motto is, I admit "If it ain't broke don't fix it" If I'm cheap, well, my name is McDougal That 2% percent own half the world's plunder Is, to me, a bit of a wonder
That 2% percent own half the world's plunder Is, to me, a bit of a wonder If I thought it hard to get my own yard How on Earth do the other folks fund 'r? Bush I got choked up over Jeb The news is all over the web
Bush I got choked up over Jeb The news is all over the web It's important to know So I'm telling you so Now you can go back to bed Kids like to read Dr. Suess As much as they like to drink juice
Kids like to read Dr. Suess As much as they like to drink juice You won't be surprised By what I've surmised When I say that they can't stand couscous. The Invisible Pink Unicorn with Holy hooves, tail, ears and horn
The Invisible Pink Unicorn with Holy hooves, tail, ears and horn Appeared late last night And gave me a fright In my side it is always a thorn At Taco Bell e coli thrives The bugs give each other high fives
At Taco Bell e coli thrives The bugs give each other high fives But I really am beat And I still gotta eat But too much and we may lose our lives I drove through Chicago last Friday Turned out snowy so I started to pray
I drove through Chicago last Friday It started to snow; it wasn't my day The City of big shoulders Was getting a lot colder I'd follow squid south if I had my way Trans fats are now strictly verboten In midtown, the Bronx and Hoboken
Trans fats are now strictly verboten In midtown, the Bronx and Hoboken You can still eat them here Though you'll show signs in the rear And you're heart will be terribly broken A word to the wise is sufficient But in English I was never proficient
A word to the wise is sufficient But in English I was never proficient I spoke in odd riddles The prose spewed in spittles The correct choice of words deficient. The North Pole has a great gang My six year old said as she sang
The North Pole has a great gang My six year old said as she sang My six year old boy Thinks Santa's a ploy And revels in sturm und drang With GPS you'll never get lost But how much is it going to cost?
With GPS you'll never get lost But how much is it going to cost? Just wait a year It won't be so dear And you'll show the retailers who's boss My son suspects Santa's a scam He says "how dumb do you think I am?"
My son suspects Santa's a scam He says "how dumb do you think I am?" Well he watched through the night And he had a great fright When Santa showed with the fresh Christmas ham My Ipod I filled full of tunes And I played them while riding the dunes
My Ipod I filled full of tunes And I played them while riding the dunes The weather was balmy As I lunched on salami And rode my bike all afternoon Carbon dioxide makes Venus too hot And earth's warming up quite a lot
Carbon dioxide makes Venus too hot And earth's warming up quite a lot I do like it toasty But Venus is roasty Do politicians care? They give squat We wish Daniel well with his diet It may work, so he might as well try it
We wish Daniel well with his diet It may work, so he might as well try it But should instead he get round And lose not a pound Of his diet I'm sure he'll be quiet If you ask here's my two cents A limerick need not make sense
If you ask here's my two cents A limerick need not make sense Any more than does life Or, in a shoe store, my wife Where with reason, she will gladly dispense The presents are wrapped and under the tree Not much more to do - let me see....
