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She is gone

Discussion in 'Fred's House of Pancakes' started by bwilson4web, Dec 19, 2020.

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  1. fuzzy1

    fuzzy1 Senior Member

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    My deepest sympathies.

    I've been through the home hospice process with a parent, but that isn't equivalent to doing it with one's life partner.
     
    #21 fuzzy1, Dec 19, 2020
  2. vvillovv

    vvillovv Senior Member

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    May her spirit live on inside your heart, Robert.
     
    #22 vvillovv, Dec 20, 2020
  3. hill

    hill High Fiber Member

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    There are no words - but know that we are sorrowful for you & your family's loss.
    .
     
    #23 hill, Dec 20, 2020
    Stevewoods likes this.
  4. john1701a

    john1701a Prius Guru

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    Thank you Bob for all that you have done for us. That's a reflection of how much she supported and believed in you. It made you a good man we can all appreciate & admire. You made a lot of friends online because of that. Her spirit lives on in you. Cherish those memories.
     
    #24 john1701a, Dec 20, 2020
  5. ETC(SS)

    ETC(SS) The OTHER One Percenter.....

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    I'm very sorry Bob....
    Thanks for sharing Holly with us in the ways that you have!
     
    #25 ETC(SS), Dec 20, 2020
  6. Mavi

    Mavi Active Member

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    Condolences to you and your family. From god we came and to god we return. 43 years with someone is more than anyone can hope for, I hope they were great.
     
    #26 Mavi, Dec 20, 2020
  7. mikefocke

    mikefocke Prius v Three 2012, Avalon 2011

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    That you have contributed so much here while bearing that burden is a tribute to you. Been through it with two parents and an uncle. While working and raising two kids. It isn't fun. And you miss them, are relieved for them. May your friends, both personal and online, and their thoughts for you be a small consolation to you,
     
    #27 mikefocke, Dec 20, 2020
  8. srellim234

    srellim234 Senior Member

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    I'm so sorry, Bob. Please share our condolences with the rest of the family.
     
    #28 srellim234, Dec 20, 2020
  9. Stevewoods

    Stevewoods Senior Member

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    As so many others have written, deepest sympathy.
     
    #29 Stevewoods, Dec 20, 2020
  10. mjoo

    mjoo Senior Member

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    My condolences, Bob. I'll pray for the peace of God to be on you and your family in this time of loss.
     
    #30 mjoo, Dec 20, 2020
  11. M One

    M One Member

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    Sorry to hear about your loss. Take care and condolences to the entire family


    Posted via the PriusChat mobile app.
     
    #31 M One, Dec 20, 2020
  12. crgtheman

    crgtheman New Member

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    Sorry about your loss, Bob. May she rest in peace. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
     
    #32 crgtheman, Dec 20, 2020
  13. PhilWray2

    PhilWray2 Junior Member

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    Condolences
     
    #33 PhilWray2, Dec 20, 2020
  14. Mendel Leisk

    Mendel Leisk EGR Fanatic

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    Sorry for your loss Bob.
     
    #34 Mendel Leisk, Dec 20, 2020
  15. bwilson4web

    bwilson4web BMW i3 and Model 3

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    The mechanics of death:
    • Discovery - after returning home, I thought to feed her a cup of chocolate pudding. But I found her limp, fluid in her mouth, not breathing, and body temperature 85 F. I called home hospice and then the police who transferred me to a 911 operator. The 911 insisted I pull her out of the chair and flat on her back for chest compressions. Eventually 911 heard "DNR", do not resuscitate, and the ambulance arrived. The ambulance tech coordinated and confirmed Holly's death and turned over follow-up to the home hospice nurse who had just arrive. The funeral home picked up her body and I volunteered to round up her meds.
    • Next day - I met with the funeral home and we filled out the papers and I paid for their service. I declined his offer to show me her corpse as I'd seen it already at home, enough memory. I still owe them a copy of her birth certificate. All of her meds were turned into our pharmacy and I let them know. A family friend and house keeper spent six hours cleaning: (1) her death recliner is on the curb; (2) her clothing worn while ill is in bags, and; (3) the house keeper kept a weather eye on me. Holly's medical equipment will go along with her dry-cleaned closet contents to Good Will.
    • Today - the first business day, I called her dentist, physicians, medical insurance company, and Social Security. Phone calls through tears brought it home.
    I'm a 71 year old man, Holly was 13 years older (a cougar.) But reverse the relative ages and it would be pretty rough on a younger wife ... and I would not wish that on anyone.

    Bob Wilson
     
    #35 bwilson4web, Dec 21, 2020
  16. jerrymildred

    jerrymildred Senior Member

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    They say losing a child is the hardest. We've lost two and it was terrible. I don't know it for sure, but I still think a spouse must be harder. This is the person you chose out of all the people in the world to have and to hold, to love and to cherish for the rest of your lives. It's the deepest of loses. My heart aches for you, Bob.
     
    #36 jerrymildred, Dec 21, 2020
  17. bwilson4web

    bwilson4web BMW i3 and Model 3

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    She chose me which I never understood. A week or so ago, we were in bed and she reached out to touch my arm as she laid next to me. Recommended reading, "Thomas Hardy" and;
    • "Without Ceremony"
    • "Beeny Cliff"
    • "At Castle Boterel"
    Bob Wilson

    ps. Another source: The Death of My Wife by Mark Twain - EveryWriter
     
    #37 bwilson4web, Dec 21, 2020
    ETC(SS) and jerrymildred like this.
  18. ETC(SS)

    ETC(SS) The OTHER One Percenter.....

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    Poetry for me would be pearls fruitlessly cast away, BUT....Mr Clemens is pretty much in my wheelhouse.
    I'll be reading that later when I have time to READ it.

    Other than that...words fail.
     
    #38 ETC(SS), Dec 22, 2020
  19. GasperG

    GasperG Senior Member

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    My condolences.
     
    #39 GasperG, Dec 22, 2020
  20. kenmce

    kenmce High Voltage Member

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    **Sad.**
     
    #40 kenmce, Dec 25, 2020
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