This is hands down one of my more favorite responses since I started driving the Prius. Non-hybrid driver: I saw you driving this morning. Did you see me speed past you? Me: Yeah, I guess gas must be free where you are. (I start to walk away.) N-H D: What?! Come back here. Who do you think you are to talk to people that way? Me: What way? I was making a joke about your joke about passing me on the road. N-H D: You are so judgemental. Gas isn't free where I live. Me: Well, why were you driving like that then? She then turns her back on me and gives me the classic "disgusted sigh". Was my reaction judgemental? How would you react? Keep in mind this is someone in my office who I speak to on a regular basis (although not anymore considering that reaction.)
I'm inferring some inflections and body language here, and yes, your first reply sounds a little defensive and maybe a little judgmental. It all does depend on context though, whether you said it with a smile, or with an oh-so-smug look down your nose at her. It also depends on how you interpret her first statement, whether she was making a jab at you for "driving a slow car" (which as we all know in reality is "driving a car slowly"). I'd probably have said the same thing
I think it was a brilliant, presense-of-mind response. I'm writing that one down. As for, "who do you think you are to talk to people that way?" I would like who she thinks she is for speeding that way. I think you are focussing on your response too much. After all, you're not the one who initiated the conversation. You didn't approach her with "hey did you see me creeping down the road this morning?" You know she's going to vent to someone and when she does, how's she going to start the story: "So I approached this guy to make fun of how I sped by him this morning . . ." Words are words. Get over it. You merely offered words. She, on the other hand, offered actions, specifically the action of approaching you to mention that she passed you. Her actions are speaking many times louder than your words. But if your words made her that upset, then they were some darned good ones. Carry on, my friend, and fight the good fight.
she's just pissed off because the amount of gas she used to accelerate and pass you is more than you used on the whole trip :lol:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Ichabod @ Jul 27 2006, 08:47 AM) [snapback]293091[/snapback]</div> I actually winked when I said the 'gas must be free comment'. So, it meant as light-hearted. If she thinks I'm so judgemental why start a conversation with me? She has actually made comments about my driving habits in the past, which I have ignored because she isn't paying my gas bill.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Somechic @ Jul 27 2006, 09:47 AM) [snapback]293118[/snapback]</div> She's clearly jealous and trying to compensate as best she can. She deserved that barb and some. Not too harsh at all.
You could have asked her who she thinks you are... I probably wouldn't have thought up your exact response, but would have probably had something similar more along the lines of.. "Wow, you probably got a lot of work done here in that 4 minutes you gained on me, by the way, what does it cost to fill that <model> up these days?" In either case, you're exposing that 'gasoline cost' nerve. How I sped past you is more of a sophomore in high school conversation than an adult at the office one.. weird.. Kudo's to the quick thinking...
I had a similar experience this morning. One of the principals pulled in behind me in his big full size F250 with a cap on it. The conversation went like this: Principal:0h, you got a raise so you bought a new car? Me: I said, yes, isn't that what everyone does when they get a raise? (He knows I got a raise because we are unionized and everyone got a raise when the contract was settled) Principal: well at least you can afford gas now. Me:Yeah, I got 52 MPG my first tank of gas, how much do you get in your truck? Principal: (muttering) I am embarassed to tell you Me: 12? Principal (mutter) 15 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: This was all very lighthearted and friendly but it made me feel good to say 52 MPG!
I had something similar yesterday... big SUV totally *riding* my nice person for a while at substantially *above* the local speed limit, and when we finally pulled up parallel at a light I looked at her and mouthed something, causing her to open her window and swing head-plus-hand- plus-phone around to say "what?" upon which I said "I can't belive you're RIDING MY nice person like that and on the PHONE at the same time!" Her response? a totally disgusted "oh, *please*!", window back up, complete denial... . The only way any of this is going to get fixed is sweeping societal attitude changes, and as long as the current power structure exists that ain't happening. . _H*
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Somechic @ Jul 27 2006, 07:33 AM) [snapback]293085[/snapback]</div> I find this amazing. It wouldn't happen in the UK because strangers rarely speak to each other in public places without good reason. If a woman had said something like that to me I would have thought that either she had some ulterior and probably questionable motive or she was criticizing me because in her opinion I'd been driving too slowly and she'd been delayed for an urgent appointment. Or I might have thought she was someone I'd known in the past whom I'd forgotten so I would have said, "Sorry, but I've forgotten your name," as if I remembered her. But I suppose my response would have depended on her tone of voice and attitude.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ Jul 27 2006, 09:54 AM) [snapback]293166[/snapback]</div> :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Close, but it's more likely pre-flirting. It's like pre-boarding. :lol:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(hobbit @ Jul 27 2006, 08:01 AM) [snapback]293172[/snapback]</div> hUH? Am I to understand that this SUV driver's behavior is somehow 'W's' fault, too? :lol: :lol:
I usually have the opposite response. Whenever I say something like 'nice car" to someone driving any economy vehicle they usually give me a dirty look.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Somechic @ Jul 27 2006, 07:33 AM) [snapback]293085[/snapback]</div> It's all perception. It sounds like you perceived that she was commenting negatively on your driving and answered defensively, criticizing her driving. You could have also taken it as she was bragging about how fast she drives (sophmoric, as daronspicher commented), referring only to her driving habits amd implying nothing about yours. Me, I would have taken it as the former, but probably wouldn't have been as quick and witty as you.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Somechic @ Jul 27 2006, 05:33 AM) [snapback]293085[/snapback]</div> I've gotten that question from a friend of mine but I was OK with it because he drives like I used to - basically speeding everywhere he goes. I'm not saying what you said is bad but the person who made the comment is someone that you used to speak to on a regular basis. It is possible that she is wondering if you even saw her as she sped by you. I've been out driving before and not noticed a friend of mine driving past me - and he drove a Honda Fit... a car that you don't see many of on the road. Plus, the fact that you walked away afterward might seem like you were attacking her. I think we all get caught up in the fact that the cars we drive get great gas mileage that when someone makes a comment about the speed at which we drive we feel like we are being attacked. This is not always the case... especially if the person is a friend/acquaintance. Of course, like someone else said, it all depends on how these things were said. If she had said it in an inquiring manner than I am sure she was not trying to sound smug. By the way, what kind of car does she drive?
I think you handled it great! I would never have been able to come up with that on the spot. As far as it being W's fault, I didn't take that comment that way. I took it more to mean more like the current "power structure" meaning that greed is the overpowering catalyst in today's society and creates lots of people who think they are better than you are. Or something like that!
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(onerpm @ Jul 27 2006, 10:54 AM) [snapback]293166[/snapback]</div> That was my first thought too - even more so now that i see she's made comments before. Ask her to go for a drive sometime.....
Don't leave yourself out on a statement like that. We all think we're better than someone else for one reason or another. People are not created by the power structure, the power structure is created by people. No amount of driving around in a sweet car like Prius will make us any better than anyone else! Luckier, maybe, but not better.
