Those of us who spend time with kids know they can be brutally honest, but also very funny. Here's a thread to share some of that young wisdom and humour. I'll start with "I am NOT grouchy!", said by a glowering five year old. :blink:
my goddaughter, age 4 at the time: "I sorry Mama, I didn't mean to throw my cheerios across the kitchen. It was an assiment. (accident)" and at age 5 (a couple months ago actually), she told her mom "you can only call [galaxee] if i get to talk to her too!" there are many many more.
At age 5 my brother watched a one legged man walking by on crutches and said "Mommy, that man only has one shoe on."
"real name?" i know not of what you speak. :huh: actually, i just don't give it out. enough people would be able to figure us out if i did. and some of the info i post here wasn't intended for the public :mellow:
"That's the wrong bowl. I want the kind the Cheerios peek out of." Dad had fun with Cheerios, too. I used to lick them and stick them on my kid's cheeks. They usually liked it.
My cousins are all a lot younger than me. I was asked to be Godfather for one of my cousins. Her older brother was just learning to talk. His favorite toy was this little truck. Unfortunately his "tr" sounded like "f". Right in the middle of the ceremony his truck, that he was holding, fell and he started screaming "I want my *uck" I have never seen my grandma scramble so fast to retrieve a toy.
Cute! Here's an email I got today that was very cute too: This one is for everyone who a ) has kids b ) had kids c ) was a kid d ) knows a kid e ) is going to have kids I was packing for my business trip and my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?" She replied, "What happened to my booger?"
I don't know if you count undergrads count as "kids" but the I still remember picking up my mail in the college PO back in Spring of '70 (a very interesting time on many college campuses across the US) and overhearing one of the lamest excuses ever: "I'm sorry, I can't commit myself to your cause because I've already committed myself to apathy." Perhaps the scariest part was that he was serious! I just hope he wasn't an English major.
My youngest brother had the same problem, only with fire trucks. Of course, the two older boys found this hilarious, and milked it for all it was worth. We'd show him pictures, bought him toy fire trucks, and pointed them out whenever we saw one on the street. He called them "fidey fux"
When my son was real young, he ordered "Baby Black Ribs"...and you can guess the race of our server. Embarassed BIG time.
The best one I've heard was from a classmate in my residency. She was taking induction chemotherapy for leukemia, and she's a pretty woman in her early 30's, very pretty hair. She was bald of course at the point of this story. Her little nephew (about 3 or 4 years old) saw her as his parents brought him in the door, and asked the best question ever, sotto voce: "Is Auntie Nora still a girl?"
This is more of a story about me and my oldest son. I was crew chief on a hot-air balloon at the time. It was during the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. My wife had decided that she was going to sleep in on this particular morning with my youngest son. I was supposed to meet the rest of the crew ~ 1 hr before dawn. The temperatures at that time in ABQ were ~35-40F. My older son was 4 at the time. Before going to bed the night prior my wife kept reminding me that he would need his winter coat, that he would need his hat, that he would need his gloves, etc. I started getting annoyed. I mean does she think I don't know how to take care of my kids or what. Well the next morning came and I put on his winter coat, his hat and his gloves and put him in the car seat in the back of our vehicle and started on my way. About half way to our meeting place my son asks: "Dad. Did you bring my shoes?" But in my defense, My wife never mentioned putting his shoes on.
mom to grandmother: "i had a doctor appointment the other day" grandmother: "oh? is everything okay?" mom: "oh yes, just fine." five-year-old: "yeah, everything's fine. except mama has a baby in her tummy!" oops! they weren't gonna break the news until easter... but now it's out! when she told me this story the other day, i nearly fell over laughing.
One of my favorites actually came out of my own mouth when I was about 6. My parents named my younger brother Andrew, but it always made my mom a little worried because she never much cared for the nickname "Andy." Anyway, we went out to dinner one night and there was a family at the next table who had two children that were about the age of my brother and I. They heard my parents talking to my brother and the other family struck up a conversation with us by commenting to my mother, "Oh! Our child's name is Andrew too; but, we call him 'Andy'" At that point, I apparently felt the need to contribute to the conversation and piped up with, "Oh! My mommy HATES that name!" My mother was suitably embarassed.
