:focus: Thank you...because I have some major questions about if online dating is the best way to meet a woman. I have been widowed for 6 years now. I haven't dated for 3 years. I'm 49 years old, and though I am definitely not a Brad Pitt look-a-like, I am an ok looking guy. :cheer2:Go ME!!!:cheer2:
GreenGuy, It's been my experience that it is a bit like any other venue that singles use to meet each other. Perhaps the online dating services are replacing the bars in their purpose of being a place to "shop". I know not all online dating services/venues are the same and someone on eharmony is different in many respects from someone on plenty of fish. eharmony is expensive and uses personal information to create "compatible" matches. You only see your "compatible" matches, so the field is narrowed down for you. My feeling about having used that services and those I've met there is that they are serious and invested in, finding a match. Of interest to note however, two of the three men I met from that site are totally and completely incapable of commitment. We're talking stressed because a relationship might put the pressure on to call a woman at a regular basis. Not surprising, both are still on the site, and after year(s) of use, single as the day they started. The third has moved on, as have I, and although we were not a love match, we value a deep and meaningful friendship to this day. ( Had dinner with him last night, matter of fact!) Plenty of fish is a free site, they use "compatibility" too but you see all the singles in your area. They just rate them based on this compatibility. I had one 100% match when I tried it. Funniest thing ever, I recognized the man right away. I had seen his profile on yahoo's dating site... we had even exchanged a phone call or two, but honestly, what do I have in common with a never been married, no kids, urban , music jazz DJ? I can say that I'm pretty sure we were "compatible" depending on what you mean by "compatible". yum! I've had opportunities to meet him but chose not to. I'm honestly not looking for a fling. Which brings me to yahoo. The first dating site I used. It is a pay site like eharmony but they show you everyone and anyone in your area. I was newly single when I used them so was totally flattered by all the attention I got. I had no idea I was a minnow who had just jumped into shark infested waters. I went on several first dates, meeting men from as far as an hour and a half away. I can say coming away from that I made one true friend, but even he, is a shark. We just have an understanding he and I. Shark no eat this minnow. Those are the three sites I've explored. I know there is one called Match.com too. Hell... maybe my problem is I've just been to all the wrong "bars" and need to try different ones. If it weren't for the few genuine friends I've gotten out of the deal I would say it was a complete waste of time and money but I did come away with a few good men-friends and a whole lot more dating savvy than I had going in.
WTH? I feel more like a silly little girl who naively entered into a world of repeated rejection both ways... I mean think about it. The longer you "date" the more you experience one or the other side of: "You're great but..." Here is one: "You have great energy, you're cute, I really like spending time with you, you're fun BUT, I am looking for something easy. I don't want to have to feel like I have to call a girl." Or this one: "We seem to have this amazing spiritual and emotional connection, I have fun with you and I know we have chemistry BUT you don't talk very much and I'm used to women who talk more. I don't think we click on some personality stuff." It's Seinfeld all over again. Are these even real reasons? Do men ever just tell the truth? Are there men out there who are willing to invest in a relationship? I've taken down the profile on the dating site I had up for a few weeks. I just don't have the energy to sift through the bullshit anymore. I know people say it works.... I just don't know if it's going to work for me. To sum up: If I were a predator, I would have some prey by now. I'm fairly tenacious. And if I AM a predator, that means I need to find another predator to date. I have absolutely no interest in dating my food.
It's called "the male experience" Also: I did mean that as a joke. Don't be bitter :sorry:. EDIT: that was poorly worded. More precisely: please don't hold a grudge against me for an extended period of time for making an off-hand joke that didn't come across well.:sorry: :behindsofa:
You've just essentially called me a bitter predator. I think.... there is some implication that I may be having a "male experience" too. *checks* Nope. No peenie. Honey, Before you go down any further along this road perhaps one of the older, wiser, men might help you out a bit.
Octavia, I haven't been involved in online dating sites, but it seems like --- If a "blog-like" site existed, i.e., a site that would allow one to participate in a discussion like this one on this thread, then the potential dater would get a very good idea of who you are & what you're after..... And what makes you swoon dead away. So, where IS such a site? Answer -- it's called PriusChat. :evil::nod:
Holy Crap. The reality of what you said has just sunk in. You mean... I could be "online dating" right here, right now? You mean.... single men might look at all this crap I write... and think.... *Octavia gets a bit stiffer in her stance* You mean to tell me, I could MEET A MAN here?!? *Octavia pastes a really big fake smile on her face... her palms begin to sweat* You're saying that most of the people on here aren't really guys in prison!!!! *Octavia loses all ability to just be herself and becomes "date girl"!! Chit. I better be more careful what I write eh?
You mean we're not? Shoot, and just when I thought we were getting somewhere. I'd better be careful. Some of these PriusChatters know my wife. Tom
If you'd said this about that spidey girl crawling along the ceiling, it might have made sense. But Octavia? I'm used to women who talk too much but tend not to say a lot. Yes. If you don't want to know if those jeans make your butt look big, don't ask. You got that right. I can never ignore a damsel in distress. It's part of my nature. An attractive, intelligent woman meet someone on a male-dominated site and find a common interest? Nah, don't be silly.
