With a helper trying spraying starting fluid in the intake with the car in drive with both the gas and brake pedals fully depressed. A minute of this will charge the battery out of the danger zone. Be careful to not start things on fire!
You read my mind! I have spent most of today getting what it turns out was DIESEL out of the fuel tank. (I am going to be getting away with murder for months from the wife on this, so not all bad news!). It was getting dark again when I tried to fire it up and it still wouldn't go beyond a few seconds of running. The second HV is starting to get low now, so I intend to use up another can of carb cleaner tomorrow and get it to run long enough to drag through the 40 litres of petrol I've now got in there. I reckon there may still have been some of the diesel/petrol cocktail I couldn't get out, so swamping it with a lot of good stuff should fix it - I hope. Come on Santa - give me that early xmas pressie!
Good news! It works again. The whole sorry affair was caused by a simple mistake, which, it would appear, is quite common. I recorded the moment for posterity and the link is hereby attached! You can look at some of my other bodge videos too if you like. Thank you all for your input, help and patience... I'll no doubt be back. Merry Christmas!
Oh yes, just for completion, here's a pic of how I drained the tank... I had a 12v battery on the ground at the other side of the car. I actually curled up in a ball when I made the final connection to the battery... "just in case"... Don't try this at home kids!