Getting middle-aged. Should I buy a Volvo?

Yeah, that's why I chose the C instead of the E.

The Shamen would disagree, though.

 

Aaah, the Ssangyong Rodius. Truly a thing of beauty.

I think it has a Mercedes engine. Ssangyong has long had a licensing deal with Mercedes to recycle its old tech: the Ssangyong Chairman was a stretched 90s E-class.

I do wonder whether this was part of the deal. Perhaps Mercedes said "You can still have our tech, but to do this, you have to build something that makes the Mercedes R Class look good." It definitely achieves this.

 

It's a first step. Once you spell colour properly, you'll be able to have different-coloured banknotes.

And after that, you can have proper banknotes, with pictures of the Queen on them. And you'll recognise her as your Queen.

 

Yes. I reckon the best example of that is the just-replaced Skoda Superb. The estate looked great, and the saloon just didn't. But I think Merc C- and E-classes also look better as estates. And possibly VW Passats. And Volvos - I think the Vs look better than the Ss.

Based on my Dad's experience with a diesel Passat, I reckon I'll get better motorway mpg than the Prius, but worse urban mpg. So it'll be great for my regular trips to Canberra, but less spectacular on the school run.

 

Ah, yes. It's always been a Golf here. They are quite nice. Here, the default cheap estate car for a long time was the Holden (Opel in Europe, Vauxhall in Britain) Astra.


I got one for our nanny. It's boring, but great value and incredibly practical. They don't sell it any more now, though, and for the last few years, the default cheap wagon has been the Hyundai i30.



The Highlander/Kluger has always been sold as a more expensive, upmarket thing than a Camry here. They're also consistently the most badly-driven and aggressively-driven cars on the road in Australia.

 

No. They need to return to their rightful place as a dominion.

If they must have their own queen, my money would be on a Kardashian. I don't know which one - I can't tell them apart.

 

The thing I like about the Cactus is those pads on the sides. With my parking skills, they'd be a fantastic thing.

But I don't think I'd feel lucky enough to buy one, after the experiences we had when I was a teenager.

Dad had a Citroen BX. It fell apart. The windows died. The sunroof leaked. The whole roof lining once fell off while I was driving, leaving me with my head sticking out of the hole for the sunroof. The engine management was erratic. Many of the buttons fell off. Eventually, we took it to Moss Side in Manchester, and left it unlocked, with the keys in. No-one stole it.

Mum had a Citroen AX. It was better, but the handbrake did come off in my hand once.

When I bought the Prius, I had a look at a Citroen C5. When I closed the door, the whole of the door lining - the handle, the window controls, everything - fell off.

So I just don't think I could do it.

 

They do in China. The Zotye M300 is made under licence from Fiat. There's an electric version which makes up a significant proportion of the taxi fleet in Hangzhou.



Actually, a slightly smaller portion of the taxi fleet now.



Do they sell the Renault Grand Scenic or Espace in NZ?

What about a Nissan Dualis+2?

Or what about a Japanese grey import of one of those incredibly comfortable Nissan Elgrands?

Or a Merc R class?

 

Yes, I think he bribed someone. The doors never fell off, which was nice.

GrumpyCabbie doesn't realise how lucky he is, staying in Britain.

You've identified one of the hardest things for any British emigrant. I'm sure it's the same for you in Long Island as it is for me in Sydney. Every day is filled with an aching, hollow emptiness. I wake up, and in my mind, the brilliant blue skies are grey. The twinkling blue sea is a flat grey. The beautiful green grass is grey. The rainbow lorikeets are grey, and the laugh of the kookaburra is is wail of sadness.

Because, ftl, you and I have to live every day of our lives without morris dancers. No jangling bells. No banging sticks. No stupid hats. No ridiculous pointless dances. No hale and hearty people claiming to be upholding traditions. No terrible facial hair mistakes and weird hats.

Here is something to ease the pain in your soul. (The dancing and accordions in the first clip start at about 1:30, after they've wandered around the car park for a bit.)

There you go,

So, GrumpyCabbie, are you happy now? Should we call you HappyCabbie, now that you know that we have to live every day without this, while you have unlimited access to it? ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? ARE YOU? You get this every day, while ftl and I live in a world bereft of bells and sticks and accordions and ill-advised facial hair. Every day. Day after day. For ever.

Right, I'm going to go and sob under the frangipani tree in the garden while dreaming of morris dancers and accordions.