Family estate trouble...

Sad when greed gets in the way. Having a will will make things easier. Might have been best to have had a family discussion of division of assets in earlier years and better times. Same is true now.

 

Yes, my minister has always said that you do not know truly know your family members until you have to settle an estate.

I have a family member going through an estate settlement. The grandmother had attempted to have discussions about division of assets before her death but everything seems to have changed after her death. It is sad to see brothers and sisters being so greedy.

 

My Dad went through something similar years ago. He had been taking care of a relative here in the states for years and had power of attorney. When she passed away her will gave him $50k and the rest (a paid for house in San Francisco and some other assets) to her daughter in Europe. The idiot daughter turned greedy and wanted everything and sued. The crazy thing is that since he had power of attorney the estate had to pay the lawyer to defend the suit. After more than a year and plenty of attorney fees he won the suit, got the $50k and the daughter ended up with much less than she would have gotten originally.

It's sad and amazing what money will do to some people.

 

My mother-in-law has been going through a similar problem. In her case, her sisters are the greedy ones and there was no will. They got her so upset she moved to another state and refuses to speak to them anymore.

 

in our family, i AM the crazy one.

 

all the assets go into a trust. the heirs can borrow from the trust on an equal basis, the borrowers are required to purchase enough life insurance to pay back the full amount of the loan plus interest.

 

Money does strange things

 

We've seen similar things with the cousins when their folks both passed... I know what my Da had promised me is still with my Mom... I do not know if I will get it from the folks in Ohio when my Mom passes though... they think I am a rich man and don't deserve anything more than what I have... and frankly, my sister's kids are thieves and white trash mostly... soooo, I'm not really expecting them to do what is right when they can make a few coins selling the stuff.

 

Think how complex a father who had children with wife 1 divorced and children with wife 2 and wife 2 survives the husband. Not my scenario but you can imagine

 

Jarndyce vs. Jarndyce. (Bleak House by Charles Dickens.) Family members sue each other and in the end the lawyers get every last penny and the litigants get nothing.

My father's trust specified that anyone who litigated against the trust would get nothing. Trying to claim more than your share would have been very risky and likely to fail. So there were no challenges. We all agreed that each of us could choose a keepsake of insignificant value. Everything else was sold and the estate was divided equally, as per the terms of the trust.

When my mother died, my sister and I agreed that each could take something. I took my favorite painting from my childhood, an original oil by an unknown artist friend of my folks which will never be worth money, but is a very nice painting in its own right, as well as having memories for me. My sister took my mom's diamonds. I felt that was reasonable because my sister had taken care of my mom in her declining years.

My family was totally bonkers and completely dysfunctional. But greed was not their particular failing. My psychotic stepbrother believed he was entitled to it all (by a peculiar line of delusional reasoning) but did not challenge the trust because he knew he could not win. His paranoia was probably a stronger motivator than anything else. Believing everyone was aligned against him, including all lawyers and judges, he was not about to sue the trust, with its clause that would have cut him off with nothing if he had tried.

 

That is brilliant. Might have to steal that clause.

Litigation is a joke in the US anyways. Whoever has the most money is the one who draws it out the longest and by the end only the lawyers prosper. Same reason why big companies hound the littler guys with legal threats that they should never win.

 

Sorry.

I told my parents that I wanted them to die in debt, and that we kids would divide the tab.
They're probably going to ignore my advice.
They have already selected a trusted cousin as the executor, and we've already worked out a very simple but detailed system for distributing the things that will not get sold or have not already been given away.

That's not always practical and there's no way to make it universally easy, especially when some heirs are geographically or financially challenged.
It never ceases to amaze me how venomous family relationships can turn over the stupid stuff.
I've seen sister and brother (in their 60's!!!) come nearly to blows over a table I wouldn't give you $10 for.

Parents and Grandparents:
Make a will.
Also leave voluminous instructions.

Even Lawyers have their uses!
I love a happy ending!

 

Where's the liability to pay their outstanding debts if they're both deceased with no co-signers?

 

Different States... different laws.

I understand... Some States don't allow Trusts... and some States have laws regarding unpaid debts that allow a injured party to sue for collection against whatever is there.

 

And I have seen much of the same Bra... and while I myself have not won anything grand yet... I believe I will agree with you and add:

With a couple of other columns on the lists...

• Those that would cheat... still will cheat, even if they have 1000+= what the victim has.
• Those that used to steal, will still steal again just because they like to steal.
• Those that care about their family will give what they have to a family member again even if they know they are stealing from them.
• And if they don't understand savings before they got any real money, they won't have any money before long.

 

I always thought F Scott Fitzgerald author of Gatsby understood wealth and wrote about it often. He was from a cultured family and attended Ivy League school at a time when money was the entrance requirement. This passage perhaps best sums if up.