Help me convince my boyfriend!

Hi everyone!

(Sorry for writing a book, but I have very few people on my side about this.)

Ok here's the situation: my boyfriend of 6 years is getting a small inheritance from his father and we've been talking about getting a car for a while (all the money for the car would be from his inheritance so it's not quiet "our" money). For the last few months we've been looking into the Prius Plug-In. He's been fine and happy about it for a while, yet still wanting to look for another option. Fine no prob, whatever.


Well a few days ago we were talking to his mom about a new car. And I'm not to trying to be negative here, but his Debbie-Downer of a mother said that she thinks the Prius is ugly and the Leaf is a stupid idea (mainly because she can't get a new car). Unfortunately that stayed with him all that night and I feel that's why he partially doesn't want the Prius because someone said its ugly. Granted its not a Tesla or Camero, but you don't get a car JUST for looks especially when you drive a total of 40 miles to work and home a day (also we have a place to plug-in at work so BONUS).


So for the last 3 days he's been all over getting a Charger (and he's NOT a car guy, but now that he wants this car and I laughed at him about it he suddenly claimed that he was, yeah right. Poor thing can hardly tell what a car is by looking at it nor can he change his own oil lol)... Ugh, yes we all know its a sexy car, but its not green, and it gets the same 22 mpg as our 2004 run down dodge neon. We only have seen the outside of a Prius (from pics and people driving), never touching or getting in one, but yet we've played with every button and knob we could find on the charger at the dealership. Never test drove either one. But he's dead set on getting one. Not fair, even tho it is his money.


He has agreed to checking out & test driving the Prius tomorrow, but he's just gaga over the looks for the Charger. It's so ridiculous that someone would rather go for looks than saving the planet. I love him and he loves me or else he wouldn't be eating 80% vegetarian because I ask him to. But he's trying to tell me that it's ok that we stop being SO responsible & green and just get the Charger. Granted we are much more responsible & green than the average 23-25 yr olds (around us at least) and we work 11-13 hour days TOGETHER, so yeah a fun fast car would be nice (in a perfect world). But still the Charger goes against everything I believe in: bad gas mileage and they didn't even try to use anything recycled. The only thing I'm getting out of the Charger is he's not getting leather seats. He told me that he would absolutely not get the Charger if he could not change the seats, but obviously they can.

Also I've gotten him to agree to holding off until August to decide for certain on the cars. Despite the fact I know something will happen sooner, its just something I can hold on to for now.

His stepdad (who has two businesses, a chevy silverado, and is rich) even agrees with the Prius. Even my brother said that "yeah the Charger for ego and looks, but the Prius just for common sense."


So I'm in a bind here. It is his money that his dad left him, so naturally he has a right to have a bigger pull on the car than I do. But this is not ONLY his car and since we work together its not like we need another car. I'm normally good at getting him to do the right thing, but this is a mother's influence (as far as I can tell, and she hates anything that is green or having to do with a healthier lifestyle, she thinks I'm a stupid hippie and that I think I'm better than her) and for his ego also. And please remember this, he's not an nice person, he's just a guy who wants a nice car. Which I understand and I do like the car, just cannot morally love it.


So PLEASE! I am on my knees begging! Anyone who has any thoughts or ideas please let me know! I've tried everything from "its the same as our neon but with a better look and real tech (not just power windows - lol)" to the suck-y gas mileage to checking out other plug-ins/hybrids. I'm at a loss and not that I'm trying to control his money, I just don't want to drive that thing for the next few years.


Thanks,
Traci

PS: Forgive me if I didn't proof read everything good, just got done with 9 days straight at work.

 

WOW! Thank you guys for the quick feed back! I'll just go down the list of post and respond that way.

Cwerdna: I've already talked to my Prius dealership and they said they have 6 on the lot and even if they didn't have my color they could get it fast. For his dodge he'd have to wait 8-12 weeks. I know its pricey but worth it. The '12 Camry Hybrid looks good too. But I'm mainly looking for the room and the best possible mpg I could get. If there were more charging stations around, hands down we wouldn't have this argument and we'd be proud Leaf owners. I'm not looking for power just as long as it can move. We wake up at 6:30am every day and have to drive 20 miles to work, we're tired all day, and when we get home its 6-8pm. As much as I love going fast and hearing that engine roar, I'll love saving money more. So I'm not quiet sure why he thinks we're gonna be needing ALL that power when we are zombie-fied when we drive to work and I'm sure the Prius isn't a dinosaur like he thinks. THANK YOU! This car should be an upgrade in everything, it should be as future ready as we can afford, not a step backwards. Thanks

KK6PD: We're getting there, we've talked about getting married and it will happen soon. Well Monster-In-Law is more of a caveman and hates when people talk circles around her. It's not worth my time to worry about convincing her, because she's one of those people that if she doesn't have it first or want it first she doesn't care or like it, its a POS. Thank you! I love it here!

Catgic: I know “Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend”, but we are happy and for us its more of a cherry on top, because we have more, done more, and are better than most of the married couples we know (tells you a lot of my situation lol). But we have talked about it and we both know there is nothing holding us back except the perfect time. And as for the vegetarian thing, I've got him down from eating meat everyday to only when we go out to eat maybe 2-3 times a month if that. He's the type that since I won't cook him meat, he'll eat whatever, but I've got him to where if I make him something good he'll eat it and shut up. Makes me happy and keeps him quiet. I'm not gonna leave him if he doesn't get me the Prius (mainly because its his money) but I will be pissed as hell, especially after the vanity wears off and he doesn't want to go run errands like he says he will. Which btw I think I should have at least a 50-50 instead of his 60-40 pull because I'm the only one who does the errands and gets the car checkups and all that stuff. He says he will care more because he has a hot car, but I know as soon as we drive it off the lot and he shows someone (aka Mommy) he's instantly gonna be crushed. And I know him and his habits (its a human thing we have) to love something for a while and then get over it because IT IS JUST A CAR! Lol! He knows where I draw the line for his Mom and she doesn't have any influence on our relationship, just she likes to cut him down to size once in a while. Out of 3 kids, he's the one who has it all (mainly because of me dragging him to a better place and shaping him into a better person, even tho he doesn't like to admit it). And she hates that. But her main beef right now is her husband/his stepdad will not buy her a new car that she wants, and she doesn't like it. His stepdad owns the business we run and he owns her massage therapy business, but it's only 1 & 1/2 years old and it can't fully support itself yet. They don't share their money 50/50, they don't share their bank account, and that's why she has a hard time with us being so successful. We are everything and have everything they don't. Sorry for the personal drama, but at least you know how he was raised lol. Thanks

GrumpyCabbie: Thank you! Its enough to buy a car and pay off some bills. If it was $250,000, I'd be getting my own Prius and he could have whatever he wants lol. No matter what we want a 2012 car and both of us would be willing to wait for the price to drop once the '13s come out, but its not a big deal. We didn't have a choice in our first car (the neon) and so now we want a choice and that's why we're stuck. Lol! OHHH trust me when we do finally get a house, it's gonna be as green as I can make it, wind, solar, whatever! Lol And NO if ands or buts, the boyfriend will not tell me no! But for now we're still doing the apartments, we've got a very nice one, brand new, but this summer we're gonna rent a house, because I'm tired of paying almost $1,000 a month on a 2 bed apartment when I could get a 3-5 bed rental house w/garage for the same price. And as far as buying a house, we don't want to settle down that far yet because we don't know where we want to live. Thanks!

cwerdna: As for the PV, we're not even sure where we're gonna get a house in Oregon or if we're even gonna stay in Oregon. We've decided that we're not gonna do a 2-door, we want a family in the future and this would be our only car. And plus we've got his little nieces & nephews with us all the time. Lol

SageBrush: Trust me I've tried to tell him and then back off, but that's just not my nature to lose this kind of fight. If this was a fight over furniture or a computer, yeah whatever I'll let him win because 9/10 times it would be more for him. But the way we use our current car its a big deal because I drive 70% of the time. Like I said before he says he would drive more and stop making me do all the errands, but lazyness is a bad habit of his lol. We practically are married, but would he act different IDK, I'll have to raise that question to him. And no matter what he knows I'm not going to handle him ignoring my wishes. I tell him every time he thinks this topic is over, that I will fight to the end about this. My main issue is this small sum of money is what his dad left him before he passed and he passed when my boyfriend was 3! So its one of those things, he is more entitled to do what he wants with the money than I am, but over all its OUR car and we only need one. :/ I tried to convince him we both need to look some more and give up our first choices. Didn't work because I looked at all the hybrids and could not justify paying more for looks, getting less gas but a little more electric (for the volt at least), and less room. So I came back to the PIP, he didn't even look. I've loved the Prius for a long time, but we've only been looking into the different cars for a few months, we've both liked the prius but he's only loved the Charger for 4 days! We will have all our bills paid off when he gets his money, its not much and its not behind. We've thought about a house but like I said earlier we're not sure where we want to be for a long time. So a rental house is our best option. Yeah we will pay the car out right, but we might just pay most of it and finance the rest to build credit. I've told him to wait for gas to figure itself out, but we all know it'll raise and get worse. Thanks!

ralleia: HAHA! Love it, mine is an overgrown teenager too! Lol I brought up delaying his mid-life crisis until the tesla roadster is cheap and he didn't like that idea. Lol! Neither of us want a manual and like I said, he's not a car guy and he doesn't even get the concept of a clutch lol. He's agreed to wait at least until August for a final decision, but I swear if he likes the Prius I'm NOT waiting! Lol! Our Neon got in an accident while trying to turn left from a left or straight lane with someone on the LEFT ONLY lane on the left of us trying to go straight! UGH so the left fender is ugly and the steering wheel is about 1/3 off center to the left. Still runs fine and no problems with it, but his cousin needs a little car to get around town and we figured rather than only getting $1,000-1,500 for a trade-in we'll give it to him for $1,000 and he gots his first car without all the crap that comes with buying a used $1,000 POS car. He knows whats wrong with it and like I said we put a good 40 miles on it a day and it still runs beautifully. So no matter what we are going to get a new car just hopefully its a Prius. We all knows how both sides of this story is I love the prius and only like the charger, he loves the charger and likes the prius. Over time whoever doesn't get their way will love the car, but it'll take a while to get there. And I have a hunch this is just one of those ego moments because he's already agreed that we'll probably get a new car in a 3-4 years and our future house and car is 100% my decision. That tells me this is his 25 yr old mid-life crisis lmao! Thanks!

F8L: Not trying to brag, we work hard for everything we got so that's why we have the best we can afford. I know how hard it is to resist new stuff, especially as something as cool as a car. But I've told him... This upgrade is like going from this years MacBook Pro or iPad to next years. Yeah its good new bells and whistles, but not enough for that price tag. In '07 when we got this car we paid $9,995. Now we're probably gonna be paying $15-20,000 more for looks and tech, not improving gas mileage + tech + better looking (THAN what we have lol). I've already pointed out the cost to own and stuff. While we're not living paycheck to paycheck now, I don't want to make it feel that why with all the gas its going to cost us. Here's my calculations:

Ok obviously we wouldn't drain the tank on either of the new cars, like we do the neon, all in one week. But lets assume we do for a worse case scenario.

$4.50 estimated summer gas
My neon - about 220-275 mp-tank, it takes 9 gallons to fill up (even tho the internet says more)
= $40 per tank
Prius – 10 gallons, 50 mpg
= $45 per tank
Charger SXT – 19 gallons, 22 mpg
= $85 per tank

For a year the differences are:
Neon to Prius = ONLY $240 more
Neon to Charger = WOWSAH! $2,184 more
Charger to Prius = OUCH $1,944 more
Difference in gas for 5 years for Charger & Prius = $9,720


And all that is just the price of gas not adding in anything else. As long as the gas goes up, the resale value for anything non-hybrid will go down. Thanks!

parnami: Yeah I know and have heard from him that he doesn't care about it being green. I've even brought up the Prius and Charger have virtually the same add-on tech. But seeing it in person will hopefully change his mind. Especially since the PiP is on the lot and they have to order the specific charger he wants with the nav package and he can't play with it unless we went out of town to try a different dealer. Yeah the transmission thing is annoying, my neon easily does that, don't understand the 5 different speeds if you're not a racer or big on that kind of stuff lol. He's never used our 1st or 3rd gear, he doesn't understand them lol. Oh yeah I forgot about the gaming aspect. He's a big nerd when it comes to his xbox. I've told him as big of techies we are the Prius is an awesome geek-mobile lol. He knows Toyota's are built to last. His mom, sis and step-dad had one. No one in his family had a dodge in a long time, except his sis has a Magnum and its a gas hog. It looks like a boat just like the charger. I'm 5'3” and I don't feel comfortable driving a boat especially in our small compact parking spaces at our apartment. Our space is long, but we barely have a foot on both sides of the car. I know I have a winnable situation, all he's got is looks, I've got everything else. Lol thanks!!

CrewDog: Yeah I've pointed out the tax incentive and told him despite paying possibly more upfront, it'll be cheaper in the end.


I just can't wait until we go see it. I'm praying that something can change his mind. Yes I want him to be happy with what he does with his money, but he needs to realize that we both drive not just him. Wish me luck we should be going sometime soon to check it out. Still no matter what he says I'm making him wait a few more months. Well of course only if he doesn't want the prius lol.

Thanks,
Traci

 

No dice. He gets the charger. Over and done with. :/ Thanks guys!

 

We haven't signed anything for it, he just put his foot down and played the his money card. He's right it is his money and he did have to lose his dad for it. I'm not proud of trying to push what I want on him, but i know him and how he is with vanity, it'll lose the sex appeal and we'll be stuck with it because he doesn't want to give in. I just hope that something goes wrong during the test drive that he doesn't like. I'm 5'3" and i don't want to drive a boat, but he hasn't even test drove it, we tested the Prius yesterday. Even though we we're done with the convo last night I will bring it up today that we can and should rent the car if he still unfortunately likes it. Part of me died when I had to get out of the Prius, it was such a smooth ride! I love it..... Here's hoping that I still have a chance. He should know by now I don't give up when it comes to something that in the end I'll be using and loving more than he will. :/