Her Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster. His Diary: Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out, at least I got laid.
You're kidding right? For the same reason we don't want to hear anything about their "monthly" issues
Well, I know I have no social skills whatsoever. But if I ever did have a girlfriend, and I was upset because the boat wouldn't start (assuming here that I had a boat) and she asked me "What's wrong, Daniel?" I would reply "I'm upset because the boat wouldn't start. Do you know anything about boat motors?"
I'll tell you why, Daniel... because men do this thing called "caving" when they are upset about something, and it makes them so self-centered that they don't REALIZE that they are acting "weird" or "different"... so, they think that if their gf/wife is asking them questions, it must be the gf/wife's issue! The biggest issue is that most women don't understand what men do when something has them puzzled/frustrated - go hide in their cave, taking most of their marbles with them. Leave them alone, and eventually they'll come out again, and have no concept that they were even missed.
Absolutely! And not only when I'm lost: I ask directions just to make sure I'm heading the right way. I've always known there was something fundamentally different about me. That's the wrong way to phrase it. "It's not you" leaves open the hint that somehow it is her. Especially when your body language is giving off ambiguous signals. And when "It's not you" in woman-speak means "It is you." You don't say "It's the boat, it's not you." You say, "The boat wouldn't start and I can't figure out why." Make it clear that it's between you and the boat." Then ask her for suggestions. This brings her in on the solution side.
If you haven't done so already, please turn in your Guy License right now. I think I see the lack-of-girlfriend problem now. You also like the Twilight books, right? Well, there you go. The problem is you're barking up the wrong tree, so to speak. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I've always known I didn't fit in. I find the twit of a heroine very annoying, and vampires CANNOT go out in sunlight, and they are NEVER nice to humans. But the story line is fun and adventurous. Yes, I enjoyed reading them. I liked the wolves best. Maybe I should have been a woman. But I'm not attracted to guys. Maybe I'm a lesbian woman in a man's body. Or maybe all this stereotyping of how men and women are "supposed" to be is just bullshit. (But I definitely have a constitutional inability to grasp "body language" and I have no social skills. Someone said I probably have Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's is on the autism spectrum and is characterized by high intelligence, very high verbal skills, pedantic speech patterns, but poor social skills and essentially zero non-verbal communication skills. This could actually explain my lack of a girlfriend. There is no cure for Asperger's, no medicine, and talking therapy, which I have tried extensively, is singularly ineffective.)
BINGO! Daniel, you're awesome, and seriously--I'm not sure why you don't have a wife/gf, but your attitude here is nothing but REFRESHING! Listen up guys: Some of you on this thread could really stand to take a lesson or two from Daniel. Stereotypes are just that--not that they're *never* true, but just as often in many cases, they're way off the mark. We could do with less john gray (men are from mars...) BS. People are people; differences abound. :cheer2:
