Gads! Poor Jean-Luc...the fail was apparently so severe it both broke and elongated his arm. Ouch. He should really get down to sick bay.
For some reason, the first picture here and the Star Trek picture didn't show up on Firefox on XP, but it does on Safari in Mac OS. Didn't try the *&^Internet $* Explorer &*^$# Anybody catch Weekend Update on SNL last Saturday? Seth Meyers was reporting on the Sec. of Transportation saying that Toyota owners involved in the recalls for the runaway gas pedals and failing brakes should stop driving their cars. To which the Toyota owners replied "We're trying!" :yo:
Toyota Discoveries Will End Current Controversy Toyota City (JNN) - In what regulators around the world have heralded as “some of the biggest technological breakthroughs in the history of the automobile,†Toyota has announced today some radical new solutions to their technological woes. First, Toyota engineers unveiled a new device called a “throttle cable†which could revolutionize the connection between man and machine. Made up of a flexible wire inside a tubular housing, the device mechanically connects the throttle pedal to the throttle butterfly, thus offering direct, human control of the throttle by the human operator. “No one here at Toyota had ever thought of this before,†said Toyota engineering spokesperson Dr. Mal Function. “This breakthrough will bypass computer control and allow the driver to have a direct interface with engine speed, thus eliminating any possibility of the car being at fault if the driver floors the throttle instead of the brake!†Engineers at Toyota are convinced this should reduce or eliminate unfavorable rulings against the company in American courts in unintended acceleration cases. A second breakthrough is being installed on all Toyotas to be sold in the United States. This device connects the brake pedal directly to the ignition circuit. Any time the operator hits the brake, the ignition will be shut off. “We believe this should end any chance that sudden acceleration, if it should occur for any reason, cannot be overridden by the brakes,†Dr. Function said. When asked about the inconvenience of having to re-start the car every time the brake is pressed, Dr. Function said, “This is also a safety feature. It ensures that the operator actually intends to continue their journey by requiring direct operator input.†Significant savings in attorney fees for Toyota are expected from this development. Finally, a Hold Harmless feature is being installed in all U.S. Toyotas. This device combines a printer and fax machine, and requires the American driver to sign a Hold Harmless agreement (conveniently printed out from a slot in the dash when the ignition is turned on) and fax it, by way of insertion into the same slot it came from, to Toyota attorneys in Tokyo for review and approval prior to the car being activated. “We don’t know why we didn’t think of this before!†Enthused Dr. Mal. “This will save billions in legal fees, and help reduce the crowding in the court system, thus being a boon to American society as a whole!†When asked about turn-around time for approval, Dr. Function answered “We expect every request for vehicle operation to be answered within one business day. However, Americans must remember that requests will only be accepted between 9:00 AM and 4:00 PM Tokyo time.†JNN was unable to arrange a test drive in a car equipped with these new breakthroughs in technology, as the Toyota Legal Department was closed at the time and the car would not start.
